Taste of you

For my beloved Martha:

When I saw you for the first time, I knew you were born to be eaten and tasted by me.

It was love at first sight. I noticed it in my heart that it didn't stop beating in your presence, my mouth didn't stop salivating imagining your flesh between my teeth and my stomach always growled in your presence, dear.

I had to give you the impression on our dates that I was always half starving and you always insisted on paying the food. Sorry for it, dear, although that showed that you weren't only wide in meat, but also from the heart.

I couldn't stop imagining the day that you would finally be in my stomach. I wanted you to be special. Singular. Each lover that I have had and eaten have been unique in their own way: Different genres and different bodies, wide and/or thin meats, bones that were hard to nibble while others felt like cookies between my teeth, even their personalities changed the flavor of the meat, one being cheerful and childish it maked his flesh cheer me up and tasted sweeter while the other one was calm and mature, her flesh was more chewable and with a citrus touch...

Oh, forgive, dear, I shouldn't talk about other flavors before you. But every dish I created when I cookted it was different and unique, and you wouldn't be less, it's more, it's not to look down my old suitors, but I would say that you were the one that was marking me the more, and I noticed it, it had to be more special than normal, better cooked.

That is why I didn't stop looking at my family's secret library. Each recipe book passed from generation to generation, being careful to not damage the pages, while using a Latin dictionary, which I was always bad at it, looking for the recipe that most favored your person and that would make your true essence shine, and above all... Your taste.

It was a torture, dear.

Spend as many hours, days, months...

There alone, looking, it began to seriously affect my health. You were the first to notice it and try to help me, your pure soul moved me, and strengthened my hunger towards you, which gave me strength to not yield to my impulses, and do a half job with you just to stop the torture of waiting. But I didn't know true torture until you started living with me. That decreased my time in the secret library for fear that you discovered it, I had to drug your dinner more than once. Sorry for it, dear, I'm not proud of it and if that alter your taste in some way, I would never forgive myself.

But I didn't give up, I was patient, and you also with me, dear, every day despite being the worst version of myself than the previous day, your smile illuminated me, I fell in love with you more every day, and finally I found the only recipe that It was perfect for you.

A banquet for the wedding night!

And love, we are so in syn. When I already planned everything, you surprised me asking me to marry. What a nice surprise! I knew we were destined.

The wedding was fast and private, we both value small companies and privacy in our personal lives. It was the happiest day of my life, and I couldn't stop gloat just thinking about the feast that awaited me at night.

When we finally were alone, and I enjoyed a last bite of carnal pleasure that you gave me, I drug you again.

Maybe I am a gourmand lover, but not a cruel one. I would never inflict hurt the person I love, and less to you, dear. To my previous lovers, I always kept them asleep while preparing them and cooked them, but I feel so connected to you that I wanted you to be aware throughout the process. Without feeling pain, of course.

So I drug you enough so you didn't feel pain, but still be awake, and so you could also enjoy with me the dish.

I started with your beautiful and lustrous legs.

I agree with you, dear, it was a little bit salty but the point of the garlic, magnificent.

Followed by your left arm.

The meat was so tender that it melts in the mouth, I'm glad you also enjoyed it, dear.

Your right arm.

The crunchy feels of your fingers when chewing them is exquisite. Don't worry, dear, even without arms I can feed you, married couples always take care of each other.

And for the end, I'm afraid you'll not be able to savor it with me, dear, I'm deeply sad that you can not participate, but don't worry, dear, you're still the main star of this feast...

...

...I did my best to not hurt you, Martha.

I made sure I was the last thing you saw while the light left your eyes.

It hurt me much more than I expected, every second since your soul rose up to the sky I was missing you horribly, so I didn't wasted time so you would be inside me right away.

First I had to bleed you dry, save your head for dessert, stuff your body, and roast you.

Martha, if I said I knew torture before, I was being naive.

Waiting for you to be ready was pure torture, especially without your presence to talk. Before I ended up killing myself waiting, I started making the dessert by cracking open your head, and making a pudding with your brain.

It took me very little, so to distract myself I delighted myself by boiling your head to keep your skull as a souvenir for posterity. Did I ever mention to you, my dear, that I find your bone structure incredibly sensual?

At last the main course was done!

You smelled amazing, you looked spectacular, and you tasted completely like you.

Tasty, tender, sweet, with a touch of lemon. And above all you, you tasted like yourself.

I have never been happier and satiated in my life, and it's all thanks to you, Martha...

But I'm afraid to tell you that you were too perfect for me, dear, and nothing and nobody else can satisfy myself.

After you, I tried to continue with my life as always. Flee from that place, change my identity, wait a time until the things are calmed, and wait until I fall in love again...

...But I'm afraid that is no longer possible, you took with my heart, dear.

And I miss you so much, dear, I spend every day talking to your skull, crying, sometimes even licking it, asking myself if I should make a dish of your last bone rest. And I don't dare because I have already decided that I want at least one rest of you next to me...

...

...In my tomb, dear.

That's why I decided that I can not wait any longer, my beloved.

I hope you forgive me for this, but I miss you so much, and I want to see you so much... That's why I'm going to leave this world a little before what is expected.

Knowing that when I open my eyes again, I will see your smile again, it fills me in the soul.

Always yours, you beloved Julian.