"I could give you the life you deserve. Just say the word, and I got ya. Baby I got ya" I sung out loud. This was another one of my sessions. Not a smoke sesh, but a crying session where I just listen to music and cry my fucking eyes out. Nothing can pull me out of this mood once I'm in it. I don't know if I should blame depression or my birth control pills that cause mood swings. Either way I was sad as hell and needed to get it out.
Way to start off, but I am Solana Wells and I was recovering from being cheated on by a bum ass nigga, followed by a series of failed relationships. Mind you, this is a nigga that I loved more than life. 8 months with him felt like my whole lifetime. If I went into details about all the shit I put up with him, you would punch me in the throat. But that doesn't matter. He was my first everything, of course I grew attached to him. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first sex partner, my first time being inside of a nigga's room. My first time smoking was with him. Everything was with him, except my first date. He never up and offered to take me on a date. You may call me a dumb bitch for tolerating such 'below the bar' treatment, but I was a naïve, 18 year old college freshman who was just trying to feel good and have fun. Now I am 20, still desperately wanting to feel good and have fun. Although there has been major growth, mentally I feel like things have gotten worse.
*Solana Wells in the multimedia*
YOU ARE READING
go gina !
RomansFollow Solana Wells' journey through adulthood, college, and life all together. From being surrounded by love in her city to constantly being alone in college, Solana just craves peace and stability.
