Fire starter

INTRODUCTION
Every direction I look I see eyes, preying eyes. They stop everything they are doing just for one moment and they use it on me. Of all the things they could be doing they take the time out of their obviously amazing and busy lives to ... ;they look at me and i'm not at all imagining this I mean I'm not insane. Because it doesn't just feel like the whole world is staring at me , they literally are staring at me. Why, Because I'm different ? because I dont look like everybody else , because i'm not normal . "That's not my fault " , I said out loud. Sometimes I think before speaking but now I was just damn right out of my mind. Again not my fault. I rolled my eyes after staring into immediate blank space for about five minutes. Now this is the awkward part where a family member rudely and abruptedly walks into your room to ask a stupid question like .."Where's my hair brush , Jamal asked ". That would be my twelve year old sister. " No Idea , now get out of my room Jay", I said trying to come out of immediate cyberspace . "Where did you just go " , she said as she waved her small like hands in the air like a clown looking for attention.
"To the circus, now get out before I throw you in one , I said in my most sarcastic nonchalant voice" . And I meant it . "Huh", she said in her most usual little baby , daddy's girl, innocent ,child voice. She just said it that way because daddy was standing right there " Ugh, I said as I pushed her out the door". He was pretty much used to teenage girl drama . Sometimes it's hard to believe i'm living in the world i'm living in.

Chapter 1 : A butterfly in a orange meadow

As I shut my door I sat down on my bed and reached for my diary on the left of my bed ontop of my nightstand. I wasn't just looking to write in my diary about my crazy usual messed up life. But I was looking for a reason to escape and this is my escape. I started biting my nails ; which I haven't been able to stop doing since I was ten years old, but that was six years ago I guess it's true what daddy said, " like your soul , old habits don't die" or something like that . I Don't know where he got that from . Probably from that child molesting preacher also known as the church preacher who preaches on brooklyn st. Where we used to live. He was also his forth grade english teacher... Whatever. It doesn't even matter.I said that because I was pretty use to crazy shit happening in my life . It's been two weeks since the move and I miss well nothing really. I shook my head trying to fall out of a transe.

What matters is that I write something in this damn book. And what a pretty book it was , grandma bought it for me when we was at walmart .It was a nice deal too , $ 3.99. It had a silver shimmering, pretty soft cover ,and a diamond encrusted, small, little star and a heart at the bottom in the left hand corner . Plus with 300 pages with such nice smoothe lines that smelled like a lemon with a hint of lime and watermelon or maybe that was me . I forget my own birthday sometimes so... But I couldn't stop smelling the book once she got it for me . A little girl was staring at me she had nice ,blonde hair ,alot like Iggy Azalea , and she had nice freckles . I didn't like the face she made at me when we left though. For a moment I wanted to snatch the lollipop she had out of her hand and toss it in the street and step on it, but that was my alter ego talking not me plus she was like eight or nine years old . We also went to county market , which was a bore because we accidentally bumped into my cousins who live in Terrytown and she didn't even notice the old white woman sniffing me . Huh. I guess maybe it was me. " UMM, Hi can help you "? She said nothing. I smiled and politlely tried to hurry over to my grandma who was over by the meat section showing off how much money she could spend on the lunch meat and the ground beef .And while I was suffering she was apperantly having a good time making my cousins look bad for not having enough money. She does that just to mess with them though. She's not that crazy ,or maybe she was and I just couldn't notice because that crazy deaf woman nearly gave me a stroke running over here. And yeah she was deaf by the way because she sure didn't say anything. It was a good thing she left before I told my grandma who she was. Let's just say wigs would have been thrown, words would of been said , and not the pretty ones , and an occasional shove or so. But yeah I think you get the point . The grocery store would have basically been turned into a boxing ring. And I probably would of been the kid in the back pretending i don't know what's going on. Ooh nice punch. Daaang old lady got some skills , i pictured a guy saying that in my head , and it's also where I pictured to meet my first love. Crazy right ? I pictured him having a nice touchscreen like a Galazy 6 , a decent pair of jordans , and a blue hoody , who loves to watch romance movies. Oh well a girl can dream. Thankfully it was the end of the day or seven o'clock, also known as the time I like to lock myself in my room and do nothing but watch some good old fashioned Netflix. I could almost imagine my television screen at home crying my name . Kris I know where you keep the pot , come home so you can play with me . I know you want to..( spooky voice ) Oh Billy Jole I miss you too . Don't think it's weird but that's what I call my tv .