Sticks and Stones

Chapter Thirty: Is He Worth it?

As I walked into the living room, I could immediately smell the atmosphere was filled with a beer scent and it was quiet for a while. Zayn made his way back from the door and sat on the couch.

"Please sit?" Zayn looked up patting the seat next to him.

As I walked over I took a good look at him and noticed he hadn't shaved, he had major bed head and looked so tired. Even with all my anger It made me sad to see him like that. I slowly sat down...looking around, still thinking of how to start this conversation.

"It's so nice to see you Ash, I've missed you so much and never meant to hurt you, really..." He sounded so hurt and his voice a little raspy.

"Harry said if I came and listened, you'd leave me alone for good.." I kept big front up, trying not to show any broken emotions, holding myself together.

"Yes that's what I said..." He looked even more gutted after I said that.

"Look Zayn, I didn't come here to make you feel worse, honestly it took a lot just to come into your driveway.." I looked him straight in his glistening hazel eyes and then back at my hands.

"I'm so sorry Ashley. Seriously I have never felt so low in my entire life and I never meant for things to play out as they did, Nina means absolutely NOTHING to me. You're the only important thing in my life and I can't get myself to give up on-"

"Why did kiss her back? Why didn't you push her away? You had the chance to and you didn't..." I cut him off, because I couldn't hold it in anymore, I needed answer now at this point, I already knew how bad he felt.

There was a silence after my question, a dreadful silence with every second of it, was just another stab in my heart.

"Wow, weeks later and you still don't even have an answer?" The tears had officially filled my eyes just moments from streaming down.

"I don't know, I guess I was just so caught up in the moment, after you left I was so angry and upset and when she popped out of my closet, I admit it was a startle but then she began her mind tricks and...and from there it's just a blur to me" He tried to grab my hands but I pulled away, I could even see tears beginning to fill his eyes.

"So what you have no self control? What if I hadn't come back that night, would you have slept with her? Would you have chosen her completely over me? I saw how you held her, you grip was tight and you two were so close... I can't standing knowing more was gunna happen..." I sniffled whipping the tears.

"But that's just it babe, nothing more would have, she confessed to me that she did all those horrible things to you and that only made me more furious and that's when I kicked her out, and drove back after you! Ashley I don't know how else to express how much I truly regret everything an-"

"And to the fact that you didn't even believe me when I said that to begin with! You looked at me like I was crazy for even proposing that idea, saying I was over reacting- glad to know that it took her to confess for you to finally realize it." I stood up as I cried out, throwing my hands in the air.

"I know I was being stab burn and stupid and ugh I'm so at a loss for words, can I just tell you what I've been feeling-"

"No Zayn I'm tired of hearing about how you want me back and such, I'm sick of it, I can't believe anything that comes out of your mouth anymore I'm done!" I was now full on crying as I tied my coat and began to storm out.

"No no no you can't!" He ran in front of my cupped my face, staring deep in to my watery eyes, resting his forehead on mine.

I tried to look away but I honestly I was just so exhausted and drained from it all. I turned my head but he centered my eyes back into his. Then kissing my collar bone, slowly up to my neck and then my cheek, then the side of my lips.