Tempus Fugit

My muse

I'm so easily influenced by you,
Your eyes all shades of blue;
Your every curve, your every dip
All full of secrets.
Ones I've yet to find,
Ones I will find:
You're my revelation
You're my brush,
You're my paint,
You're my canvas,
My muse

Chuuya felt Dazai squeeze his hand in nervousness, sweat pooling against their touching palms, Chuuya didn't mind, it comforted him to know that Dazai was just as nervous as he was.

The downstairs was dead quiet, both their older counterparts having left for bed about half an hour ago. Dazai felt like every beat of his heart could be heard and scrutinised by Chuuya but he kept going, not even aware that he was squeezing the older's hand until Chuuya squeezed back.

They made it in front of the cupboard, standing side by side in front of the white oak door. Dazai reached out his free, but still sweaty, hand toward the doorknob and twisted, opening it with a nervous swallow.

The door swung open and he stepped forward, his hand slipping from Chuuya's grip, he then took out the photos from where they were hidden behind the crates and of course the ones he drew.

He was expecting Chuuya's face to contort from disgust, but instead, he gasped softly, reaching out to hold all the photos without a second thought, disgust never even flickered on his face, not even for a second.

Chuuya felt his heart hammer against his ribs as he looked at the various photos of the memories his future self had captured, they were beautiful and he found his grin reaching the side of his eyes as he looked at all the pictures with Dazai and his friends and how carefree and euphoric he looked.

He looked at Dazai who was studying his face with a look it apparent surprise. Their eyes met and the gentle atmosphere that encompassed them encouraged Dazai to speak up, "these are my favourite," he said as he reached out and gingerly took the series of photo's of them in Paris.

Chuuya watched with unusual fascination as an adoring smile made its way onto Dazai's face, it made Chuuya feel faint that Dazai loved those pictures so much.

The taller felt Chuuya shuffle closer to him, the both of them now looking at the photos.

It was proof enough for the both of them that they were not only in love but they had fun too, you could see just from the messy and sneaky cheek kisses that they loved each other more than mere words could describe.

Chuuya ran his finger over a few of them, "This...can't be us.." he whispered, feeling his heart spring to life in his chest, it felt so fulfilling to see himself so wrapped up in Dazai.

But Dazai took it the wrong way, he thought Chuuya didn't believe it, didn't want to believe it, "I... yeah... there's no way."

Chuuya was too enamoured by the pictures to notice the sadness in Dazai's voice, though thankfully he said something to turn it around before Dazai completely gave up.

"They're beautiful, we look so happy. I- I mean it's unbelievable, kinda weird too though..." Dazai sighed, he felt a bit better hearing that.

So Dazai decided that he would take a leap of faith.

"I... I spoke with my older self because I was curious about that room that they've been keeping us from," Dazai said as he pointed towards the door, watching Chuuya's gaze follow his finger before his eyes landed on the door. "He said we can go in, as long as we're mature and ready enough because what's behind that door, is purely just us and our relationship. I'm ready to go through that door... but I'm not sure if you are."

So that's why the room was locked as soon as they'd arrived.

Chuuya wasn't sure if he was ready, this was already rather scary and bizarre, he was happy too, that they lived with each other, but now that they knew the future Dazai couldn't fall in love with him, because he knew and now they both had the power to change that.