Animal

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

 

          There weren't many people here but that was ok. There was a man probably in his early thirties, holding the hand of a ten year old boy who looked upset. He wondered if they were cousins or something.

          "Is that Uncle Chester daddy?" the boy asked. The man nodded but didn't say anything. He was Chester's older brother. Mike sat there holding Chester's book in his hand and a sheet of paper in the other. Dave, Brad, and Rob were sitting a few rows back. Eventually everyone was seated. Mike took a deep breath and walked up to the podium. He looked at Chester's peaceful face and shook his head before beginning.

          "I knew Chester for a really short time. Only about seven months or so. But he made my life so much brighter. Everything he did was just so perfect. He left my life to fast. All of our lives too fast. I was with him at the hospital when he died and he told me that he had written something in this book for me. I read it yesterday and I realized that part of it isn't just for me. It's for all of us here. So I'd like to read that now," Mike said softly as he flipped open the book to the back. It was quiet. He saw the little boy was crying quietly. He started to read.

          "I've always been a little self-absorbed in my own well-being. I always worried about myself before anyone else. That's why I hurt myself and that's why I tried to kill myself. I always thought I needed to do things on my own. I didn't need anyone else. I barely talk to Tyler, my older brother, anymore. I don't know how he's doing or his wife. Or that little boy that he's got. Hell, I don't even know his name. I don't want him to meet me though. I don't want him to see what I am. I don't want him to see that all I've done is screwed my life into the darkest hole imaginable and now I can't get out."

          He glanced at Tyler. The man was holding the little boy in his arms but he could tell he was crying. Mike took a deep breath to finish it.

          "I found a light though. There's some way out of all of this. It's all of them. All the people in my life that I've met or been with. Tyler, Rob, Mike, Dave, Brad, they all mean so much to me. They're making me want to turn my life around. I don't want to worry about what I've done in the past. I want to stop dwelling on that and make it right. I want to be able to hold my nephew one day and tell him I'm proud of him. I want him to see someone he can look up to. Not some guy who doesn't even know his name some nights. I wish I could thank them all. I thank Mike all the time but I don't think he knows why. I talk to my friends but I just feel like it would be awkward in front of them. And Ty....God...I'd feel like I'd let him down. He was looking for so much in me. I let him down. I wish I could work up the nerve to call him and tell him that I love him. Cause I do. All of them. I love them all so much. They've done so much for me."

          Mike cut off there and glanced around again. Everyone was in tears. Even the people he didn't know. He slowly turned back to his speech and then nodded slightly.

          "I wish he was here right now. I wish he could be here to talk to each and every one of you. He'd be so happy that you'd all showed up here. I can't tell you what this means to me or to him. Thank you," Mike said quietly as he got down and sat down. A few more people got up and talked about Chester. And then Tyler got up. He set the boy down and told him to stay there and then he walked up.