𝙈𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨/𝙣𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙣♡︎

Bᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏʟᴅ ᴡᴀʏs...

I laid on my back with my face turned towards the window.It was storming outside which was peaceful in some way.I had my playlist of slowed songs that made you think deeply about your life and mistakes.

I felt past tears run down my face since I was crying about things that happened years ago.I'm a human I should be able to make mistakes with out feeling guilty.I shouldn't hate myself for the way I am and look because of what someone does to me all the time.Not my fault...but I feel as I deserve this pain.

I feel like I'm running out of time.I can't get this thought out of my head.This pain out of my stomach.This lump in my throat.I try and block but it comes back everytime I let my guard down.

Just be grateful you have people who love you I tell myself....This people are being forced out of my life by my own parents...And I still think I deserve this in some time of way.

It's been a 2weeks I've been in bed all day everyday.I haven't been eating like I should.The only good meals I eat when ever Archie come by to check on me.Now that I'm able to walk my parents havent allowed him to stay long to the point where he can only drop the food off and only see me through the glossy window.

He didn't come by yesterday and normally he would have came already but he hasn't.I sat up as I just stared out the window as the wind blew and the thunder rumbled.the sound of the rain dropping mixed with the sound of the music made it even sadder...I just looked down defeated.

I laid back down into my spot of agony.I turned my back against the window while I just drown out the sound of anything other then the sound of the music leading my mind into a deeper state.
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Few hours past sunset soon took over the day.I have been in my bed not taking to anyone.Archie didn't come I felt alone.I don't blame him because I know he probably doesn't mean to not be here but my insecurities hold my judgment making me feel like I'm in his way and a waste of space.

The horrible thought soon was interrupted by my door being open seeing my mom.I felt my body flinch and start to shake from being scared of what she might do.Soon my worries went away with seeing a skinny shadow figure behind her.I smiled to myself knowing who it was but confused of why he was here.

"Here she is...make it quick please."my mom said letting angel in while she slammed the door.

"You look like shit."angel smiled while I could let do nothing but laughing know it was probably true.

"Thank you angel."I smiled while he laughing coming towards wanting to reach his hand out but was scared

"Angel...it been two weeks I think I have healed alittle for you to give me an actual hug."I chuckled to myself while he smiled giving me warm hug.

"Sorry..."he said cutely looking down while I giggled to myself.

"You've lost weight."he said giving my body a concerned looked

"Well angel I have been in the bed trying to heal and I'm not able to eat certain foods."I lied

"But still haven't you been eating other things..."angel said

"Yes I just have a fast metabolism..." I said lying again while he just stayed quite

"Anyways...What brings you to my depressing kingdom...if you leave with a new coat of sadness don't blame."I smiled

"I just wanted to check on you...Jaden and nessa ask about you they haven't had the time to come over since there off being rockstars."angel said playing with the thread of my blanket

"That understandable...but I have been okay."I lied looking down alittle but keeping a smile on my face.

"Have you though."angel said looking me while I tried to avoid contact with me.