The End Zone

Chapter 33

When I was younger, I never used to ride roller coasters.

My parents would rarely take us to boardwalks and amusement parks but when they did, it would usually end with my mom ranting about how I wasted her money by not going on the rides.

Here's the thing- Daniel was too young to ride on any of the rides and my mom thought roller coasters were stupid. So I would be left to look up at the loops and dips all alone. Inside, I wanted to go. I wanted to feel the thrill and close my eyes and scream but I was alone and afraid.

I finally rode my first roller coaster when I was ten. My dad gave in and said he would ride with me. He even promised to hold my hand.

That was all it took.

It's difficult to match that image to the man who hasn't bothered to text or call in nearly a year. But I can help but think about it as I stand, hand in hand with Zack, in front of the city I once called home.

My heart has been in my throat the entire ride here. Everywhere we stop, I survey the area, praying that I don't run into my parents. In a town as small as ours, word travels fast. I'm sure everyone knows Zack Darrington is returning for Jaden and Lola's wedding.

I wonder if they connected the dots. I wonder if they even care.

Why am I still thinking about them?

I suppose it's the town. The air. The grocery market we used to shop at every few weeks. The schools I attended.

It's only been about two years that I've been gone yet it's like seeing everything through new eyes.

We start to walk past our old high school. School always had a scent I can't describe but I would recognize in a second. We walk past the parking lot and my eyes go to the spot I always used to arrive in early to avoid the crowds.

It's like she's there. Me from high school. Before Zack. Before cutting off my parents. Before Marcus. I watch as she rushes into her car with her head down, eager to leave before anyone can see her. Dreading bringing home the A- she got on her calc test. Ready to practice piano and study Mandarin while everyone else grabs burgers before the big game. A group of rowdy football players pushes past her. She glares at them.

We lock eyes and my mind goes blank. Her hair is longer, her face skinnier. But our eyes are the same.

It's going to get even harder, I tell her. You're about to enter a world you can't prepare for.

She blinks. She can't hear me. 

One day, you'll be old enough to understand it all, I promise. You'll be stronger than you can even imagine.

Her eyes fall to the floor for a second before returning to me.

For every terrible experience you have, there will be more amazing ones. Experiences you would have never even dreamed of if you didn't keep going.

I offer her a smile.

You're not alone.

She smiles back at me.

"Ready to go?" I hear. Zack tilts his head at me and I realize I've been standing in the same spot for a while.

I turn back to the spot but the moment has passed. She's gone.

A small smile crosses my lips as I look up into his eyes. "I think I finally am."