UNWORTHY

4. HAMID

When I opened my eyes, I realized I have passed out and have been lying on this cold floor for so long. It was dark outside and I couldn't believe no one even came to use the bathroom all these while. Was it Hamid and the boys stopping people because I was here?

I managed to get myself off the floor and cleaned my entire body. I could feel the sharpness of the pain on my anal as the water touched it. I have bled so badly that you can see strains of blood coming down my legs with the water. I felt weak and used, I sobbed as I clean myself and blamed my father for all of this. At that stage, I wished my mother was alive. Non of these would have happened.

Right there in that bathroom for the one hundred time, I hated my father with all my life. Never wanting to do anything with him nor the rest of his family. All of this was his fault. All of it!

After I finished and left the bathroom, I saw Hamid and the boys on my bed. I wanted to walk back to the bathroom but couldn't move. I was terrified in seeing them and I immediately started to cry. Hamid came over to me and walked me to my bed. He sat me down forcefully only to give me a warning.

"Nothing happened in the bathroom today Ali. Do you understand!? Nothing happened. And if you ever tried telling anyone, we will do worse and no one will believe you" I only nodded as words couldn't come out of my mouth. I breathed heavily as they left my bed and continued crying.

The fact that Hamid is warning me not to tell anyone means he is actually scared that I will out hun as a rapist. But then he has a point, who will believe me?

Hamid is one of the best Arabic Students in the school and every teacher likes him for his ability to teach and control (torture) other students. No one will believe me when I tell them what he and his friends did to me. I swallowed everything and tried to sleep.

Only that the sleep didn't last. Anytime I close my eyes, I could see figured above me trying to touch me where I am scared most. I could feel the sharp pain the voices in my head will come with. Screaming with every might like a thunderstorm.

I could feel my cloths being ripped off, trousers torn and my body being forced open with a ripsaw.

These dreams continued for night for the entire school break, and whiles it does at night, Hamid and his friends made a hobby out of raping me in the open bathroom every other day.

I was becoming weaker and frail with each passing day and had no means of protecting myself from them.

I resigned to letting them have their way with me as they place and whenever they please. I let them use me unsolicited and go to bed with the pain every other night.

Throughout these nights, I'd pray for God to take me out of the school or worse take my life if I cannot be out of the school alive. On numerous occasions, I would cry the whole night and wake up with a red eye the next day. But nothing happened! I was still being raped! I was still being told to keep my mouth shut! I was still taking my self sleep with no one to talk to.

I was destined to believe perhaps this is a way of God teaching me a lesson! Punishing me for looking like a girl and maybe this his way of casting the "devil" out of me.