I'm The Option You Shouldn't Have Chosen.

Part 26- In Your Absence, I Have Changed

Part 26- In Your Absence, I Have Changed

Two weeks have gone by since the night of my birthday and I haven't seen much of Slade. He'd left for Romania to visit his father and take care of business. I honestly think this is a test of my alliance. Slade had told me before he left that the next time he goes to visit, I would be on his arm. He left a note on my bedside table the morning he left that read:

'Violet,

You know the rules.

You leave? You die.

Slade'

How romantic.

Waking up each day was the hardest part of my routine. When the room is quiet first thing in the morning and I'm alone with my thoughts, it feels like I'm back in my old life. I can almost imagine the sound of my mother downstairs in the kitchen on a Sunday morning, mixing up a batch of blueberry pancakes. My dad would always take the whole plate from her and make the usual joke of 'Oh no, looks like they're all mine girls.' And even though he said it every week, we'd laugh because it was our small tradition.

The second thing that hits me every single morning after the memory of thoughts, is more of a feeling. My eyes blink open and the first thing my body feels, is the heaviness of the engagement ring on my left hand. It's as though its weighting down my heart. Your heart is situated in the left of your chest, caged in by your ribs. A protective barrier that doesn't help if it's not physical. I guess it's only suitable you'd wear the ring on your left hand. Such a symbolism of love.

I will never get used to the feeling of it on my finger. Second from the left. Some women dream of this feeling, but I feel as though my childhood was ripped away from me and I was thrown into adulthood. Only this is not the place one would ever imagine they'd be spending the rest of their life in.

In the time Slade has been gone I've established a routine for myself. I get up. I shower. Have breakfast. Tidy the kitchen. Walk outside by the lake. Offer help to Darcy. Read in the afternoon. Help prepare dinner. Go to bed. The next day, I repeat it all again.

Today, everything changes. Slade is due back at lunch time, and it's just gone 7am. I can hear the other servants pattering up and down the halls. For everything must be perfect, heaven forbid there be an ounce of dust on the floors when their 'beloved Master' walks in.

While it doesn't seem long at all, my time apart from him has allowed me to reflect on many things. I'm not scared of him like I once was. Sure, he can take the blood away from me and my body will suffer through withdrawals, but I won't die from it. Slade won't kill me either, I'm too useful to his cause. Even if he did, at this point he'd be doing me a favour. I'm no longer living a life of my own, I'm living the life he sets.

I still hold a small amount of fear for other vampires that may come and go, like Isabella. I haven't seen her since I failed at stabbing her. I realise now, that wasn't my smartest moment. If I'm going to try and get through this, I need to stop putting a target on myself.

At the realisation that I've wasted half an hour of my time lying in bed, I flick my feet out from under the covers and sigh as they hit the floor. I yawn as I make my way to the bathroom. It doesn't matter how much sleep I get, I'm tired.

All. The. Dammed. Time.

The hot water runs down my back and soothes the tension in my muscles. The time away from Slade has been so peaceful and I'm sure he'll set his commands upon everyone the minute he walks through the front door.

I pick up the bottle of raspberry shampoo with a snicker and start to lather it into my hair. This man is ridiculous. God I can't wait to meet his mother one day. I want to meet the lady who raised this maniac. After showering, I get dressed into a simple pair of black, high-waisted jeans that fit like a glove and a black cropped t-shirt that falls just above my belly button. As I'm brushing out my wet hair, I notice that it's grown so much. It ends where my jeans button up. Is it my age now? I know I'm only seventeen, but something has changed in the way I look. I feel...older. Or is it the blood I've been consuming?

Just as I think of the blood, I start to get a knowing tingle in my throat. I don't think I'll ever get used to it, but at least I know what it means now. I leave the bathroom and head downstairs to the kitchen.

"Morning Miss." I can tell when Darcy is stressed because she always speaks very shortly. She's washing up dishes while she has pots and pans cooking over the flames on the stove at the same time.

"Hey Darce, want some help?" Before she can answer me, I slide on over next to her and take the sponge from her hands.

I hear her sigh with relief, "You're a life saver." We continue in unison for the next twenty minutes. Darcy at the stove cooking each component for breakfast, and me taking the dishes from her and washing them up.

Once we've finished cooking and cleaning for breakfast, Darcy and I help ourselves to a plate of food and sit at the island bench together.

"I almost forgot," she says while getting off her stool and walking to the fridge. She fetches two glasses and fills them with blood from a fresh bottle in the fridge. "Here."

I clink her glass with mine, "I don't know what I would do without you." We both laugh because we have a mutual understanding. We have no choices to make of our own besides this friendship. Darcy lets out a satisfied sound as the blood passes her lips and I do the same. It's like the first sip of coffee you take for the day. Nothing compares as it hits your tastebuds and the effects rush through your body like adrenaline. Sometimes it's the only happiness we find in the dreary mansion.

No matter the choices Slade makes or the pain he inflicts on people, Darcy has still never said a bad thing about him. I don't know why I admire her for that, but I do. I don't doubt for a second that if it came down to it, she'd choose him over me. It should be an unsettling thought, but I'm honestly ok with it. He took her in, offered her a roof over her head and raised her, I'd expect nothing less. I think it's why we've become such good friends. She and I have a mutual understanding that has never needed clarification from words.

As we eat, servants come and go grabbing plates of food and bringing back empty dishes. With a small smile, Darcy takes my empty plate along with her own and washes them up in the sink.

I'm about to ask her what her plans for the day are, but I seize up before I can get the words out. I feel him before I see him. Slade has returned earlier than planned.

I turn to see him standing in the doorway of the kitchen, staring at me. My treacherous heart beats faster at the sight of him. Black slacks hugging the curve of his legs with a crisp, white shirt tucked int the top of them. His hair is dishevelled and doesn't match the neatness of his outfit. It must've been a long flight back.

"Violet." One word is all he says, and it commands my body in an unexplained way. I don't want to feel anything towards him, but I can't help it. The man looks like a god. A sly smirk spreads across his face. He knows it too.

I nod my head at him in a greeting. I don't trust myself to speak. Darcy looks at me and I can see the worry etched into the frown on her face. She thinks this will end badly for me. I told her one night over dinner that I will no longer be calling him Master.

I will no longer condemn myself to a life that is not based off mutual respect. If I am to be his wife, I will not be walking around at his beck and call, the word 'Master' slipping from my lips every time I need to ask an honest question.

As I stand there saying nothing, it's like he knows I've changed. Slade stares at me while he addresses Darcy. His tone is cold, "Thank you for keeping the house in such good order in my absence. It will not go unnoticed. If you could leave the kitchen, please. It seems Violet and I have many things to discuss."