Alcestis

How deep is your love?

Those were her last words.

As she stood at the edge of the hotel rooftop, there was no going back now.

"It's either me or no one, Jean. Why would you even want to live without me? We can die happily ever after, all it takes is just one jump. One jump and we are free together. What is left in this life of ours anyways?"

" Patricia...try...to...to" my words die-off under the heavy influence of the alcohol. At this stage, I was almost ready to believe her conviction: that there is nothing in this life. But I was still a coward, too scared to die, or maybe I was just not as drunk. Part of me wished that I had had a few more drinks, deciding would have been so much simpler than...

"You're right" was all I managed to say...

I climbed up, held her hand for one last time. I knew that these were our last moments together...

"Come, Jean" she clasped my hand tighter. I was terrified. I did not want to die...but I also didn't want to lose her.

"How deep is your love?" I heard her say.

I looked into her eyes, "Let's go to our room, dear. We can talk it out there." She didn't reply.

She kissed me hard, and I could feel her tears running down her eyes into mine. For this one moment, I felt liberated. I could finally understand her pain, why she wanted to end it. She was expecting us to gracefully fall under the moonlight...

I pushed her over the edge.

All I could see was her expression. One of betrayal, cold and frozen. Was she still crying, or was it me who was? I didn't know anymore. She didn't even scream...perhaps she had already died?

I realized the truth...I had killed her long ago, this was just my last chance of making up to her. But I failed yet again...

Words were not enough to express what I was feeling at that moment. I wanted to die, but I was frozen in place. On one side, was freedom, on the other, a lonely existence that I couldn't contemplate anymore...

I passed out.