The Apple Cannon

Chapter 1: Meeting our Main Character

Miss Cheerilee walked into the classroom, and the class fell silent.
"Okay children, today we are going to be having a very special guest come in to talk to us about the art of LARPing! Now, can anyone tell me what the term LARP means?"
Diamond Tiara raises her hoof.
"Nerdy role playing with rejected Molest Fest costumes!"
"That's right," says Miss Cheerilee, "You see, random nobodies get together with OTHER random nobodies in costume with tons of "spells" and.. stuff.. and they act out battles of very minuscule importance."
Just as Miss Cheerilee finished talking, a skinny, pale white unicorn who was quite scrawny and ugly trotted into the classroom. He spoke with a lisp and wore a ridiculous wizard costume. Standing next to him were two very scantily-dressed horse women.
The stallion blabbed on and on about LARP to a point where Applebloom wanted to kill that fucking stallion in the most painful and merciless ways.
Speaking of apples, she wondered if her sister Applejack whom she loved to a point where it was almost horrific remembered to pack the absurd amount of apples she had requested for "lunch" this morning. And by lunch, Applebloom may or may not have meant the consumption of other ponies. Shia LaBeouf (aka "Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf) was her lord and savior. She went to church and prayed that she could meet him and be his friend in murder and cannibalism.
What she wouldn't give to meet him.
The apple trees better not have even a goddamn stem leaf and there better be dents the size of golf balls to prove that Applejack had done her job and packed the 100,000 apples I requested in my lunch, or the entire fucking apple family is going to get it and they're gonna get it good, Applebloom thought to herself.
And if the apple family gets it, so does Ponyville.
And if Ponyville gets it, so does Manehatten and Canterlot and the rest of Equestria.
She'd fuck this world up so bad if the amount of apples was not up-to-par. Unspeakable things would be done to Applejack, and Diamond Tiara? Well, we'll discuss that later.
The stallion was escorted out of the classroom by Miss Cheerilee. She was about as done with that guy's shit as Applebloom was.
"Ugh, that blabbering idiot wasted an entire class talking about LARP. You are dismissed, class." Miss Cheerilee took a swig of Ponyweiser beer and plopped down into her chair.
The class ran outside as Miss Cheerilee managed to finish a whole 6-pack of beer in about 5 minutes. Applebloom sat down at the lunch table and dumped out all of the apples in her bag. Her teacher must've thought she was smuggling 300 lbs of crack in that thing, good fucking god.
A note fell out with the apples. It reads as such:
"We ran out of apples, sorry sugarcube! Isn't there one on Miss Cheerilee's desk? Use that one and save some for us, because we have no food left now.
~Applejack"
Son of a fucking shicloth.