I wanna be pretty.
God why can't you fix me ?.
I don't like what I see in the mirror .
Matter a fact I hate every piece of what I see.
I look at all the others and I'm like why can't that be me.
I'm hurting inside and I don't think anyone sees .
I'm falling apart.
I'm the wrong me, the one I don't want to be.
I'm hiding in a shadow of an endless pit of shame.
Shamed of myself .
I wanna be happy.
I wanna be loved.
The me I am now won't allow me to get close.
I get attached and then I let go.
I'm so scared to let myself be vulnerable to another .
I hate the way I view myself , how I feel others view me?.
why is this life fair.?
I hurt people. and by doing so I hurt me even more.
Why am I like this.
How do I change me?.
I miss the old kid I used to be.
I was so sweat and the old me had a dream.
Idk if I even still have the same dream .
The dream of love the dream of a future .
Why did I turn into this damaged person?.
What trauma changed me?.
I wanna be loved , and I wanna love.
But I'm just a kid in so much pain my heads spinning .
There's not much to gain from a 14 year old girl.
With mommy and daddy issues .
Ashamed of herself and of where she came from.
she misses her old point of view
She used to be smart
She used to be brave
She used to be strong
But now she is not one of those things.
At least that's how she feels with all of this pain.
Hiding behind this mask in her lonely pit of shame.
