Are You Here?

Part 2

I couldn't sleep that night, so instead I flicked through old books whilst sitting in the lounge. The room was icy cold, and I had to sit dangerously near the fire just to feel the effect of its warmth. I had cocooned myself in old blankets and pillows, whilst surrounding myself in a wall of dusty novels. I skimmed through the yellowing pages, the words becoming blurs in my watery eyes. I was scanning a dog-eared copy of 'Othello' when something caught my eye in the back of the book. I peeled out a torn sketch from between the pages. The style of the drawing was clearly Walter's. It was of a young woman, dark curly hair cascading down her back. The features of her face were not drawn but you could tell that she was beautiful in Walter's mind. She was in a gorgeous ball-room gown that complimented her perfect figure. I smiled. It was me, how Walter saw me. Beautiful. I looked at the clock perched on the mantelpiece. It was 10:30. The wind was howling through the trees outside, making them dance manically in the darkness. The occasional creaking of the floorboards didn't bother me as I continued to devour Walter's books. I started to pay less and less attention. I didn't even know what I was looking for. My stomach growled uncomfortably. I would have to go to town early in the morning tomorrow. 11 o'clock. The fire was so warm, it felt as though I was being embraced by a toasted marshmallow. I curled up into a ball, like a kitten and continued to read. I don't remember actually falling asleep, but I awoke suddenly at around 4 o'clock. My spine was tingling as though I had been pushed awake and I was unnaturally cautious. My body shook as a cold chill crawled down my body. That's when I realised that the fire had been completely extinguished and I was sitting in utter darkness, with only the glow from the moon as company. Slowly, I breathed out and picked up a lantern from one of the shelves and fumbled for a match. I lit the lantern and made my way up to bed. When I slipped under the covers, I did not blow out my lantern. The soft glow casted long shadows across my walls and the unnatural tingling of my spine did not lessen.