Use Me

Chapter 1: Not Another One Night Stand

As the air grows thicker, her throat felt dry, and every part of her body was frozen. She felt like she was a deer in the headlights. At this very moment, the feeling of guilt and the gravity of the situation hadn't hit her yet. With her hands firmly gripping the duvet on his bed, she sat perched, yet the heavy rain drives earlier made her went weak and wanting to feel the embrace of the cold blankets on top of her body. 

But it's now dark, ...in his room. 

Of all people she should never ever have met, it was him. 

Her insecurities washed over her and at her lowest point, she'll always go back to the one drug she knew she can't quit, and it was him. And he knows it. He revels in the fact that she'll always fold for him after a few charming lines to reel her in. She knows he's dangerous. 

Still, she decided to see him, to feel the rush of adrenaline, to make her feel alive. If that danger is known, is it still danger?

While he was still in the bathroom, taking a shower, she tries to analyze everything in the room. On the left, a table with several cans of beers, gold chain links and an ashtray with cigarette butts. She wonders how he could sneak in those contrabands whilst living with his parents. 

He tried to offer a can of beer from the convenience store earlier, but she refused. One addiction was already enough, another one would ruin her completely. Ironically, she thought she could let this one slips her consciousness.

Addiction and this...situation. What's the difference? 

The shame, the guilt of even being here. 

"No funny business" she said. 

"Sure...", he said. 

Funnily enough, he was in control of the car. In control of the destination. As much as he loves taking advantage of her doe eyed naivety, she secretly loves him dominating her. In the sense of being completely submissive. Surrendering all the control to him. Wanting to please him. Wanting him to wash over herself. Soon enough, her desire brought herself upon this predicament. 

He snuck her into his room. It felt like going into a lion's den. 

She felt like prey, submitting to be eaten by a wolf. Torn apart flesh by flesh. Perverse thoughts flashed in her head, wanting to sacrifice everything just for his pleasure. The way his eyes always looked sharply in hers, despite being in the dark conveys that he knows exactly what she craves for. He knows how desperate she must be to be this weak on her knees begging for respite. Her words tell his ears that she wants to sleep, or to use the toilet and get back on the road. But her body language, the slight nervousness, her restraint that he loves so much about her, as if she's controlling an inner beast, tells a different story. He loves it when she's cocky, and haughty.

"Bluff all you want" he thought, ..." but you're the one sitting on the edge of my bed".

He loves breaking her. Not just her self-control, but her ego too. He can't wait to break her in, its all a power game and she's just another toy to play with and she knew that. 

Suddenly, the door creaked, and she snapped back to reality, trying to keep her focus. The one-hour drive in the heavy rain left her exhausted. She can barely keep her eyes open. It wasn't until he emerged from the darkness, she fixed her posture, sat up straight and try to regain mental clarity. He walked back into his room with a cigarette on his lips, offering some to her.

"You want one?"

She declined any attempts of him having advantage over her. Not like it's a winning attempt at this point.

He went to a corner to put out the cigarette. As the ashes and burnt flickers dimmed down, her eyes were still constantly following him wherever his body goes. She felt like a student in detention, waiting for her teacher to give permission to get out of class, but a naughty student hardly ever leaves detention without some sort of punishment.