Daydream of 20/05/20 - And now? What do you feel?

Daydream of 20/05/20

After spending a good part of the evening watching videos of Pentagon and especially Hongseok, I found myself having a little daydream about him.

In this daydream, I was at his house, or rather in his dormitory, and we were having a one-on-one conversation sitting on the floor in the living room. What were we talking about? The fact that I've never loved anyone. What was I doing there and why was I talking about it? With him of all people..? Anyway, I explained to him that I had never loved anyone and that it was therefore an emotion that was unknown to me. He looked really surprised to learn that and asked me if I had really never felt anything for anybody, to which I answered him that no, and that I felt like there was some kind of hole in my heart, a void I knew exists but am unable to get rid of.

He put his hand on mine and asked me if I felt anything. My heart started to beat a little faster. I looked him in the eyes and explained that I was feeling something, but it wasn't that different from usual. He seemed to be thinking for a few seconds and then came closer and kissed me. Our lips touched for a few seconds before he broke the contact and asked me again how I felt: "And now? How do you feel?"

How to explain that my heart just skipped a beat and that I could feel the heat rising inside me. I didn't know how to react to the sudden arrival of all these new sensations, which he had noticed. However, he was waiting for me to respond, no matter how long it will take. With my eyes looking down, I told him that my heart was beating even faster and that I was hot, so much so that my cheeks were burning. I couldn't see his reaction, I only heard a small laugh. But curiosity made me look up and I saw him looking at me with affection, a warm smile on his face.

At this point, I didn't really know what to think about the situation I was in. He then asked me if he could do it again, in order for me to experience more things. I raised my head and looked him straight in the eyes. This simple look was enough for him. It was he only answer he needed. He thus gently brought my face to his with one of his hands and kissed me again, but something had changed. This time he let his emotions take over and kissed me much more passionately than the previous time.

My mind was a mess, I was unable to think of anything and ended up being dragged along by his rhythm. We kissed for a long time, holding each other tighter and tighter. He pushed me little by little towards the sofa behind me, and when my back touched it, he moved his other hand up to my cheek, his fingers playing with the curls in my hair. Not knowing what to do with mine, I slid them down his back, bringing our bodies even closer than they already were. It was hot, very hot... too hot. The time passed like that, slowly, without either of us wishing to stop. Neither my heart nor my brain were in working order, this sudden over-stimulation having severely damaged them.

Unfortunately, that's where this daydream ended, my mind leaving me unable to have a satisfactory follow-up and leaving me stranded with a heart rate much higher than it should be.