I'm Not Going Anywhere

5

A cop, a leader, a fighter, and a felon walk under a tree. 

The cop says, "This must be a misunderstanding"

And the leader says, "You're fucking ridiculous, topside scum."

Or at least he wants to say that, instead he says nothing. 

You want to grab Vi's hand, make sure she's not a figment of your imagination. She's barely looked at you since you reunited with Caitlyn and Ekko. Instead; she looks at the tall enforcer, transfixed like she's a walking lighthouse. She is elegant, educated, clean, everything you're not. A hot ball of jealousy starts to form in your gut, the flames fanned by Vi's seeming neutrality of your existence. The wave of emotions make you feel vulnerable, you want to run away from here. The clothes you were wearing felt too tight, the sun too hot. You just wanted to go home, wherever home was, desperately. 

The Firelight sanctuary is beautiful, the grand tree at the center of it stands tall and triumphant. Ekko has been working for the people of the undercity while you've been locked up, providing a small taste of what it was under Vander's leadership. While the others are arguing over corruption in the higher ranks of enforcers, you wander off. A kid wearing a cracked white mask is running into an alley, chasing a rouge ball. You follow him, and find a huge mural. 

The sudden shock of seeing the faces of your youth makes your blood run cold. Vander, Powder, Milo, Clagger, Michael. You never thought you'd see any of their faces again. You sit down in front of the mural and drink in the familiarity. You imagine them talking to you, what they would say. 

Vander would say, "Look at you kid, all grown up"

Powder, "You were in Still Water? How was it? Did you beat up any bad guys?"

Clagger, "Man, I'm glad to have you back"

Michael, "Y/N, thank god you're safe. I miss you so much."

The tears start flowing down your face in quick procession, your body breaks down like a wood plank snapped in half. The shards puncture your heart, you crumble in on yourself. 

"Did you know them?" Great, it's the person you want to see most in the world right now, Princess Enforcer. 

"Go away, princess. What are you even here for? Do you think you can help any of us?" Caitlyn's face turns stern. 

"Yes, I do. Or, I at least have to try." 

"Ha, Good luck. Now run back to your girlfriend." The comment surprised both of you. Caitlyn turns and walks away, giving up on talking to you for the time being. You hold your knees to your chest, looking up to Michael. He says,

"That was not nice, she's trying to be helpful."

"Yeah well you're a figment of my imagination. Are you supposed to be my conscious? What am I supposed to do, tell Vi I hate seeing them together? She's not mine, she can have other friends... This shouldn't be getting to me the way it is. She's just... all I have left. I'm scared she'll leave me  for her new Topside girl." A familiar hand grips your shoulder,

"I would never do that, Y/N" How long has Vi been there? Shit. You quickly stand up and wipe the tears from your face. Vi looks concerned, but also disappointed. This is the first time she's looked you in the eyes since you've both been out. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that... There's more important things to be thinking about right now, we have to find Powder."

"I am yours. We've been friends for eight years, there's a bond between us that's strong."

"Not... like that. this jealousy is unfounded." Your voice becomes quiet as you admit this. You feel alone. You turn back to the mural, trying desperately to hold back more tears. 

"We're going soon, join us when you're ready." 

The feeling that you fucked up overwhelmed you, you shouldn't have insulted Caitlyn. You shouldn't have doubted Vi. You should just tell her how you feel, instead of circling this high stakes game of hide and seek.