DESMETTRE DESTINATA / yoongi ✓

epilogue : icarus and his tragic survival

EPILOGUE

Father,

I am a grown man now. And maybe I am that grown man you were never able to be. I am no more that naive little boy who used to cling to the curtains during windy days, for I feared what if that burning cigarette of yours accidentally light them up? Am no more that whimpering mess, no more that sobbing disaster. I can take punches father, and the knuckles who can bruise me are nothing like yours.

Am no more that Min Yoongi. I was never the boy you named. I was never able to be the boy you named. It was always a blurred boundary between being your son and you being my father because the truth is, we were never able to be what we both wished for. So, we settled for a less...uh what did you yelled that day, less civilized version.

I just, I just can't f̶u̶c̶ believe how easy it is to break ties with people, isn't it father? You would know. You broke them a lot. It's like...it's huh like a di̶s̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ no, like a house? It's like, you come in hope for living in a home but end up bringing your everything in a mere house. You took me out of your life when you found me as a house, an incompetent soul when in reality I was just a product of your own incompetence.

Father, I also started using big complex words now. I stopped doing what made me look like another you. They say, apple doesn't fall far from a tree but it's only just a matter of perspective isn't it? Why not picking up the apple the moment it falls, and keeping it somewhere else? And if no one's there to do that for you, why don't do it yourself?

I hope you are doing well up there father. Knowing you, I highly doubt. I found my home now father. Yes. Your house found his home again and sadly, it's not you. You were always a man who was better at reading than believing in what being said. That's why am writing you this. Hope you read this. And stop cursing me from up there because whenever the thunder cackle, I can't get the voices of your drunk laughter out of my head. It was annoying.

You were annoying.

Oh, and is mother with you? Tell her this. I wrote letters to her but I doubt she will ever get to read them. There's personally nothing in there. Just a son whining for his mother's lullaby. I am lying. I am lying way too much but i know that she knows. She always caught me red-handed. And even if I don't lie, it's not like telling her the truth will make any difference. She knows. Mother always knows.

So mother,
Min Yoongi in me just died,
This new me...what should I call him now?

Yours,
y̶o̶o̶n̶

author's note coming soon