You're My Midnight Moon

Could We be or is it Gone

Scouts claim victory over the Titans! Finally after so long they can return home. But after how she left, will (y/n) and Armin even be able to reunite?

He almost took every bit of oxygen out of your body. Then, finally, the familiar figure you had memorized so long ago, one you thought you would never see again, was standing in the distance. He hadn't yet noticed you, but you sure as hell noticed him. He was home. All you wanted to do was rush into his arms, pepper his face with kisses, inhale the scent of him. One that you had spent sleepless nights trying to remember, regretting that you had forgotten. So much had changed since you had left the scouts. You and Armin were not the same anymore. The cane you held in your hand and the scars over your body made that clear. Armin obviously didn't leave with you so, the love-sick teens you were before were not the traumatized adults you were today. You had let your love go. Even before you left.

It was rainy that day; the aura of the dark soaked earth would soon match the events to come. The overwhelming amount of titans in the wooded area was too much for our small squad to take. It was a simple recon mission. That's all it was supposed to be. You, Armin, Sander, and Ellie were a part of a volunteer recon squad that was to assess the number of Titans in the area and see if there were any humans nearby. As you all explored deeper into the world, these reconnaissance missions became normal. Usually, a squad was easily able to easily get in and out of an area because of the low numbers of Titans far from the walls.

You had been friends with Sander and Ellie since they transitioned to the scouts from the garrison a few years back. It felt like while Armin had Eren and Mikasa, you had Sanders and Ellie. They both grew up in the same district as you. The three of you had become quick friends. While Sanders hadn't wanted too much to do with girl talk of Armin, Ellie was all ears. You had spent many nights up late talking of your crushes; it helped us to cope. Ellie had a way of joking or saying the exact right thing that would take your mind off of anything that bothered you. Sanders, he was older and never failed to bring security with his well-thought opinions and plans. He was like a big brother to you. You all decided to go on the recon mission together since you all worked very well together.
But something went so very wrong.

It started with two abnormalities in the trees. First, you stayed high and counted the slow-walking Titans that wandered through the forest. You had counted five when Ellie and Armin, who were a bit ahead of you and Sander, shot up a red flare to signal an abnormal. Both of you quickly drew your swords to meet Ellie and Armin. As you drew closer, you looked to see swords drawn; they looked down at the titan that was jumping considerably high down below. Armin said something to Ellie and had to swing to a higher branch.

That was when a 9-meter titan lunged from the top of the tree straight for her. You all screamed to her, but it had been too late. The jaws of the titan snapped shut around her, and it continued its descent to the ground. But as it zoomed past, Ellie's screams of pure anguish could still be heard, trapped inside the abnormal's mouth. They stopped after the sound of her body being crushed under the titan's teeth echoed through the forest.
You all stood there in complete shock. Your minds were unable to process what just happened before your eyes. Sander was the first to shake off the initial shock.

"You fucking bastard!" He screamed after it, hot tears fell from his face. "I'm going to fucking rip you to shreds, you miserable cunt!" He swung down; vengeance was the only thing on his mind. He had set his sights on the cursed titan.

You had blacked out for a short second. Armin shook you back. You had come back in just enough time to see Sander's body smashed into the tree you and Armin stood on. Blood splattered onto your faces. Blood mixed with tears. You sunk to your knees; it seemed like your life flashed before your eyes. Or at least your life with Ellie and Sanders. All of that time you had spent together, only for them to be gone right before your eyes.

You couldn't remember much after that, but Armin told you he carried you back to the camp. Apparently, Levi had to knock you out because you had almost completely lost it.

But what you do remember is after you woke up, something changed within you. You couldn't shake the constant pain no matter how hard you tried. It had embedded itself into your very soul. And you knew one thing was for sure. You never wanted to feel that kind of pain again. So, you pushed your friends away. Jean, Eren, Connie, Sasha, Mikasa, Yimir, Historia. And most of all, you pushed away Armin. Your pain clouded your mind and weakened your body.

Your performance as a soldier declined, which led to the irreversible injury you lived with today. You were caught by a titan, escaped its grasp, but you fell too far from the ground. That and the titan had broken some ribs. Finally, you were safe, but you were left with a fractured spine too. So, your days with the scouts were over, and you left without saying goodbye.
And you regretted that every day.

So, again, as much as you wanted to run into Armin's arms. Congratulate him on saving the world, welcome him home... You couldn't even physically run. So you stood there, tears streamed down your face, as you watched from afar. The only thing you could do was gaze deeply at a treasure you could not obtain or touch.

Armin met your gaze, and it felt like the world yet again had color. The spring breeze smelled a little bit fresher, your heartbeat a little bit faster. But, everything in your body told you to escape from him. So you turned away and went home. Because as much as his look made you feel alive again, it also felt like being burned alive, shot in the head, trampled to death. Because if you had wanted to, you could have had him. You could have been his. In fact, you were his. But that was just a distant memory. One you fondly thought of as you walked back into your house.