After the 3rd day, nothing made sense.
I lost my sense of reality.
He still found a way to get through. Whether I was dreaming or not. Starting off with a simple lyric.He came by anytime my eyes were closed.
My mind became obsessed with his constant presense I can still see his smile. His loving, understanding eyes. The way his voice hypnotized me so easily. The way I would just find him whenever a nightmare tried to take place.
He became my savior.
Like any drug, I became addicted. Every chance I got, I closed my eyes and slipped away. Disappearing from anything physical. With this I felt I could go anywhere with him.
We would be holding hands here. Laughing to our hearts content there. After awhile I got tired of it all.
He had control.
One minute I would be here. The next...the lights were off and I couldn't remember anything.
"Why are you here?"
He looks me in the eyes.
"You know why..."
He walks away toward me and like that...I'm lost in my own happiness...next to him. Unable to convince myself that it's a dream.
I open my eyes and hear that familiar noise. 2 hours had passed. My 3 days did nothing but prolong my suffering.
I had to see him...
had to hold him...
to hear his voice...
More pounding. I call to my helpers and they take it away. I stand in a haze now. Just a step closer to him. Close enough to know that he's there. Right by my side. Where i'm convinced that it's where he should stay.
He stole my heart in one night. Stayed in my dreams for months. That night was something I couldn't relive. Staying closed up and hidden.
Something broke loose.
My dreams became vivid and this stanger came by. Like looking into a fogged mirror. After many attempts I touched his hand. After that single touch my world froze. My breath caught in my throat.
He smiled.
And just like that, disappeared for many nights, i searched. The rain began to fall after 2 days. Returning me to that mirror.
Walking around in my hazy world. I hear their voices filled with concern. I simply smile. Honestly...I don't understand their words anymore. They became worthless and meaningless. Compared to that voice...everything is worthless.
"You look...familiar"
Looking at the stars.
"Do i now? I say I look just like...me"
........
"Why are you talking? ....why can i hear you?"
Smiling...that smile...I open my eyes...take a breath. The pounding begins.
I didn't plan. I did nothing to provoke my mind. I was stuck. Stuck in a bubble. Every face blurred. Voices muted. Nothing more than silence colliding with silence. My appearence was no longer ignored...well if felt that way. It didn't matter if I couldn't see their eyes. I knew in my heart. Everyone had to see. They saw the hurt, the betrayel. Seeing how much it would take to be silenced.
This is darkness...my world. I searched, there was nothing there. Expecting some sort of doorway or sign of how drakness really was. I stretched my arm out, automatically coming into contact.
"This I can give you"
5 seconds...the dreams are taking longer, but keeping me here shorter. This is where I don't want to be. Here the pounding invades. Here...im so far from him. Nothing is good about here & now.
LIght shines, brightening my mind. I see him there. Standing, looking toward a blank wall. The only wall left white. It scares me knowing something could be so pure. Something so easily corrupted. He turns to me, takes my hand. Places it on the wall. A mirror takes place, a fogged mirror.
I scream, catching my breath. I close my eyes. My hand searches for anything. Too late the pounding begins. Everything begins. Although it'll all be hazy in a second.
Slipping in & out.
On the borderline.
Just a step...just a breath.
Before i take the outstreched hand. I hear her screams. Her screams of help.
Her screams...her reflection.
Her heart beat that slowly fades.
