Love Me At My Worst ✓

26.

3rd person POV:

FLASHBACK CONTINUE:-

(TW: mentions of suicide.)

After that the cold body of the child was taken away from the mother ,as much as he didn't want to let go ,didn't want to believe ,didn't want to accept ,he had to do it ,he had to let his child taken away so they can bury the little body.

He didn't sob ,he didn't cry ,didn't weep ,didn't grief at all. The few tears that left were without his permission, without his knowledge. He was just staring blankly as the baby got taken away from his arms.

He was already exhausted because he had just delivered the baby a few minutes ago. So he didn't know when he fell unconcious. He didn't wake up for whole 2 days after that ,didn't make a single movement.

While he was unconcious ,he couldn't see the baby last time before he was buried. Soohyun was the one who had to do it alone because they couldn't keep the body for much longer if jungkook hadn't woken up. And jungkook also didn't have anyone other than soohyun who could do it.

After 2 days it was around evening when jungkook woke up , it was like the whole delivery thing and what happened after that skipped away from his mind. Like he forgot everything.

As soon as he woke up ,he noticed his flat belly ,not a big one. Soohyun was there sitting beside him "ap-appa ,where is my b-baby?" He asked in a whisper from soohyun while caressing his flat and empty stomach.

Soohyun's face was swollen and eyes red because of crying as well for whole 2 days. Why his son had to suffer so much. He can't bear his son in pain when he has already gone through so much.

Soohyun didn't answer his question more like couldn't answer his question. "Appa? Where is Hyun?" Jungkook repeated again.

Soohyun had to take deep breaths to handle himself and not crumble down ,when his son needed him the most. "H-he isn't there anymore kookie. It has been 2 days." He told him hesitantly.

Jungkook stared at him with confused eyes before nodding and looking down at his hand that was still caressing his stomach. "Hmm, yeah i forgot about that. Now i remember." He spoke to himself in an inaudible voice.

"But still... Where is he?" He asked in a low voice looking at soohyun.

Then soohyun told how him about how he had to do the burial alone and couldn't wait for jungkook to wake up as he was unconcious ,and that he apologises that he wasn't able to make jungkook have a last look at his first born.

"I am sorry for doing that but i didnt have any choice."

Jungkook nodded lifelessly ,his eyes didn't had the usual shine ,those stars. They looked dead , like he didn't have any life in him anymore. He was just staring in a void ,in no direction in particular , just sitting there blankly.

After that ,he was discharged and was taken home as his body seemed healthy enough but the same couldn't be said for his mental health.

Taehyung was gone for a trip with his hyungs for a month in Europe. So soohyun stayed with jungkook taking care of him while Jackson took care of the company.

He took him home and jungkook locked himself in his room. He never cried no matter how much he was hurting inside. 

Daily soohyun would cook for him in the morning ,lunch and dinner. Jungkook ate a little just enough to survive.

Soohyun tried to make conversations with him ,wondering why the younger isn't griefing when he should be. Jungkook never replied ,if he did it was just him nodding his head ,or shaking his head. He didn't even speak a word at all.