Illicit |m.c

.07

Carsyn laid in bed still feeling pretty dead inside. Michael hadn't talked to her in 3 days. He canceled the dinner on Saturday because his mom got "sick". But I saw her at the grocery store and she seemed fine.

"Tiffani, is it my fault that he doesn't want to talk to me? Is it my fault that my cousin died from that? I should've just dropped it." Tiffani was at the foot of my bed, rolling her eyes occasionally.

"Carsyn, this is why we wished you didn't get involved. You get so attached, and it wouldn't be bad if he was your boyfriend but it's a bet. Michael is not the right one for you."

"Oh and having a crush on Ashton makes you so high and mighty. No. It doesn't do anything for you. I don't understand why it's such a big deal! Go suck a dick Tiffani." I yelled. Anger was basically oozing out of me. I couldn't stop yelling even though I desperately wanted to stop and cry into her arms.

"You know what Carsyn, I felt bad for you when your dad left. I put up with your reckless ways and how much you hated your mom. But now I think it was for nothing. You are ungrateful and you listen to no one. Car, when you can get a grip on your life then come talk to me, I'm not going to be that friend that you yell at when you are having a rough time when my mom is in the hospital. Bye Carsyn." And with that Tiffani closed the door to my bedroom and walked away from me.

"Ashlyn?"
I called Ash because she was one of my closest friends aside from Tiffani.

"Yes? You know I don't like conflict Car." She said straight off the bat. Which also means that Tiffani called her crying.

"Ashlyn please! I just need to rant. I can't keep this bottled in! It's painful" I plead

"You know what else is painful? The fact that Tiffani's mom is in the hospital and you don't care. She could die and all you care about is why Michael wouldn't take your virginity." I heard Ash say. I thought my world was going to collapse. I was being selfish and a horrible friend.

"Please let me talk to Tiffani. Please Ashlynnn" I begged. I need to set this straight. I have been an awful friend for years.

"Sorry Carsyn. Tiffani won't talk to you."

"Put it on speaker then!" I yelled. I can't stand this. I just need to apologize.

"Fine. Go speak."

"Tiffani, I'm so sorry that I was being selfish. I know I've been an awful friend for the past 6 years. But I realize now that people can't take the same shit year after year. Your mom is in the hospital. Melanie is like a second mom to me and I wouldn't shut my pathetic mouth about that asshole I thought was the most important thing in my life. Momma Melanie would be so disappointed with me. Michael doesn't matter right now. Let's please go see Momma Melanie. I need to say sorry to her for being an awful friend to her daughter and sorry for being an awful second daughter. I've been so enveloped in ruining Tara's life. I'm sorry Tiff. I'm so sorry. I know you are so mad at me but I just needed to tell you I love you. Even when times are hard. I love you Tiffani Elaine. You are the only person I know that has been there for me for 16 years of my life. All these things that happened to me are because I was an awful friend and I understand if you don't want to be my friend and more but just know that I'll always love you." I cried. I hung up and sobbed. Not for myself but for Tiffani and Momma Melanie.

Tiffani's baby brother Declan was with Tiffani until her mom was better. Car accidents are serious. They can take be very devastating. Declan was only 6 months old. He was a miracle baby. Momma Melanie was told she couldn't have anymore kids but Declan was a great Christmas present from God.

I heard running up the stairs to my room and then my door was thrown open
"CARSYN MY MOM PASSED AWAY. I can't take care of Declan all on my own." I turned and took Declan from Tiffani's hands. She had mascara running down her cheeks and her face was redder than a gingers sunburn.

"I'll help you with Declan."

A/N
sorry it took me so long to updateeee I've been super busy. And not to mention I had my wisdom teeth out and all that jazz. OH CEDRIC FINALLY MADE US OFFICIAL. So happy.
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