CRUSH

GETTING OVER A CRUSH IS HARD.

I groan as I place my head on my locker. I just hate my life so much, why do I have to like jack so much?

It's break time and I'm currently in class all alone cause I'm avoiding jack, my friends are at the dinning and I'm here avoiding a guy. I remember how I was bragging yesterday that I would get over jack, it's definitely not working.

I'm still thinking about how to get over jack when my friends enter the class, I wave at them and they head towards my seat. "Hi" I say before grabbing semiat's nylon of snacks. I check it and take one bun from it. She tries to protest but I've already thrown it in my mouth before she can talk. She glares at me when I proceed to chew loudly.

"You've added stealing to your crimes now?" Hephzy asks and I laugh. "Leah I think we need to talk" Esther says and I turn to look at her. She has a really serious expression on her face and I can already guess that she wants to talk about jack. "If it's about jack then I don't want to hear it" I say stubbornly as I turn my face away from her direction. "Leah don't be stubborn" hephzy adds in her defence.

"What's there to talk about? Absolutely nothing. I'm getting over him and that's what matters" I tell them but deep down I know I'm not even close to getting over him, my feelings for him are as strong as ever and I just can't control it.

"Are you sure you're getting over him?" Esther asked and I nod. Semiat scoffs at this. "You're getting over him yet you keep avoiding him? You're getting over him yet you keep smiling like a fool anytime you see him smile. Over him indeed" she says and I roll my eyes. "I do not smile whenever he smiles" I tell her but I know I'm lying.

"Uh... Yes you do, you smile like an idiot anytime he's near you, you still have strong feelings for him" "yeah you aren't getting over him AT ALL" Esther adds and I lose all my patience. "So what if I still have feelings for him? What do you expect me to do huh? DO YOU THINK IT'S SO EASY TO GET OVER SOMEONE YOU'VE LIKED FOR SO LONG? What do you want from me?" I'm already yelling at this point and I can feel tears blurring my vision.

I turn to face Esther angrily "and you, why are you so eager to make me forget him? Do you want him? Is that it? Just tell him if you want him and stop acting like you're doing all this for me cause it's annoying " they all look shocked by my outburst and Esther looks hurt by my accusations. She doesn't get to say a word though because I leave the class immediately.

I storm to the toilet in anger, tears are still leaking from my eyes and I have to keep my face down on the way to the toilet so that no one notices them. I enter the toilet and quickly rinse my face with some water and wipe it dry. I decide to stay in the toilet for a little while longer because I'm not ready to face my friends yet, I know that I overreacted concerning this issue but I don't want to apologize. I just want to be left alone and I don't think that's too much to ask for at all.

After about ten minutes of staying in the toilet like a creep I finally decide that it's time for me to leave, break time was already over and I have classes to attend to. I step out of the toilet and head back to my class for the next subject. Our Economics teacher was already in the class teaching when I got there but I just greeted her and went over to my seat. I'm thankful that the science students aren't offering Economics so my friends aren't here right now. I'm not ready to face them after what I just said. I bring out my notes and go through the topic the teacher is explaining to us.

I feel a tap on my back and I turn back to look at quweey, he glances at our teacher and whispers "ibo lo lò (where did you go)" I frown before answering that I went to the toilet, he nods "semiat has been looking for you since" he tells me and I groan. "What happened?" He asks and I hiss "water and garri" I tell him before facing the teacher again.

The whole period passes by with me barely paying any attention to what the teacher was saying, I hear the bell ring and I panic. I wish this class didn't have to end just so I wouldn't have to talk to the girls, I know they'll be here soon but I don't want to talk about my outburst. The teacher leaves the class and I realize that I have a free period next, I should go to the library now so that I can avoid my friends. I'm still packing my notes into my bag when I feel someone tap my shoulder. I turn around quickly and see hephzy standing there. There goes my beautiful escape plan.

She sits on my chair and I zip up my bag before joining her on the chair. "So where did you go?" She asks and I shrug. "That's not an answer" she tells me and I smile. "I was in the toilet" I say and she gasps. "You spent over ten minutes in that toilet and you're still alive?" She asks me in shock and I burst into laughter "they washed it properly today, it wasn't very smelly" I say in defence but she just shakes her head "that toilet is ALWAYS smelly" I know she won't accept otherwise so I just keep quiet.

"Where are Esther and semiat?" I ask and she laughs "so now you want to know where they are? You didn't seem to care when you were shouting at them, infact at all of us sef" of course, I knew she would still bring it up. "You guys caused it o" I said angrily but she just folds her hands "Kila se? (What did we do)" can't she just leave me alone? I don't want to talk about this. "I told you guys that I didn't want to talk about jack but you insisted so..." "We were just trying to help you, we're your friends so it's normal that we insisted on helping you even when you refused our help"

"You should know when to drop it okay?" How do I accept their help when the source of my misery is literally among them? Jack likes Esther and I'm supposed to accept her help? Call me stupid but I feel bad anytime I see her. She's a constant reminder of what he likes in a girl, all the things I'm not. That's why I don't want their help.

"Why don't you want our help? Is it because you don't want to or just because of Esther?" She has everything figured out already. "You said you're okay with jack liking Esther but you're not. Deep down you think she likes him too so in your mind you feel betrayed" she's right actually, I feel like the two of them will somehow end up together and I'll just be the loser in the end.

"I don't want to think that way about Esther but I just can't help it, it's like it's stuck to my brain" I finally admit. I feel arms around me as hephzy side hugs me. "Try not to think that way okay? We'll figure it out together. Don't push us away or else" Hephzy warns me. "Or else what?" I ask her but she doesn't answer, she just hits my head and I start laughing.