Illness

Loneliness

3 months later

Black Veil Brides tried to live on but Andy was still in the hospital, doing his best in chemo, but it seemed he made no progress. He was always depressed and sad so he felt there was no reason to fight anymore. Hundreds of girls came to wish him the best and left, fearing the worst. After a long period of time, you would never see many teenage girls go in or come out of that hospital in Ohio.

My parents knew how much he meant to me and flew me up to Ohio to visit him for my 18th birthday. I took a taxi to the hotel I would be staying in and unpacked, getting comfortable. The hospital was nearby so I figured I would walk there. I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. "You're going to meet Andy Biersack." I said to myself, smiling but sadness clouding the back of my mind. I washed my face then applied light makeup so I didn't seem I was trying too hard. I grabbed my bag and left the room, making my way out of the hotel. As the sliding glass doors opened, the chilly crisp northern air hit my face refreshingly. I made my way down the sidewalks and kept an eye out for the hospital. As I arrived, I stared at the doors, thinking that some people went in there and never came out. Like Andy might. 'No!! Don't think about that.' I thought to myself. I walked in and greeted the counter lady, "I'm here to see Andy Biersack." I claimed politely with a smile. She gave me this sort of look, "Nobody's been here to see him for a while except for his parents and members of the band. Just make sure you don't really try anything that could make us regret sending you in there." I laughed quietly, "Of course not, I just want to see how he's doing. I was in love with him when I was younger." I murmured. She smiled, "Third floor, room 306." I nodded, "Thank you." And made my way to the elevator, pressing the button 3, making my way up to the third level. As the elevator door open, I walked through the hallway, glancing from left to right to try to find room 306. "Ah finally." I muttered as I saw the door and knocked, a little nurse answered the door, "Yes?" I looked over her shoulder, "I'm here to see Andy Biersack, just a friend." She smiled, "You mean, just a fan?" I shrugged and nodded. "Well okay I'll leave you two alone if you want, but don't try anything, he's tired and depressed." I nodded, and slipped in after she left, seeing Andy in a blanket, hooked up to a heart rate monitor and drugs being pumped into his blood. He looked really pale, but then again he always did, and his hair was still very short after being shaved. He looked at me with his crystal blue eyes, "Who are you?" He asked, sounding drowsy and sad. "I'm Rachel, it's great to meet you. I've been a fan for forever." I said gently. He lightened up a little, "Yea, I'm sorry I can't really sing for you." He chuckled slightly, I could tell it was forced by the pain in his eyes. "It's okay, I just wanted to see how you were I guess. I won't do anything rash or ask any questions if you don't want me to, I don't mind." I said, taking a seat next to what could be his deathbed. "Nah I don't mind. I really haven't had much company lately actually, I would love if you asked questions." He replied, starting to sit up. I smiled and saw him brighten, seeing he made me happy. "Well, what happened to the rest of the band? Have they been here to visit you often?" I asked, his reply a frown as his eyes darkened, "I wish, after I got sick, they came here a couple times and now they rarely come to see how I'm doing at all. I'm sick of being in this hospital.. I can't do anything and I just want to leave. I might as well die right now, I'm not doing anything with my life except for making people like you worry." He said, frustrated with himself, his fists clenching with anger as his knuckles turned white, I grabbed his left hand, "No, don't say that, you'd be hurting your family and everyone that cared about you. And I don't want that to happen." I exclaimed, as I started to tear up. The anger burning in his eyes disappeared, replaced with sadness, "I just... I just don't want to live anymore. I'm not doing anything with my life, I'm lonely, I can't do anything, no one cares anymore.. I just want to die. And it's all my fault. If I had never started smoking in the first place, I wouldn't have ended up like this. And now, thanks to my reckless decisions I'm hurting people." He said as he became frustrated again and started breaking down, the depression finally overwhelming him. I held his hand tight and sat on the side of the bed, staring into his eyes, "Please. You just have to fight. You can't give into depression or cancer or these things. You've gotta be strong and brave and fight. Why would you throw your life away like this? These doctors think you have a chance and so do I. If you didn't let these things scare you into sadness, you would be winning." I cried. He stared into my eyes and through tears he smiled. The smile I thought I would never see except for in past pictures, "I.. I know now. I was so blind and stupid. I'm sorry." He said as he pulled me forward in what I expected a hug, but he kissed me. I opened my eyes in surprise as our lips embraced and he held me close. He pulled away and I wrapped my arms around him and cried into his shoulder, "I'm so sorry.... I was so blind. You're Rachel." I froze and looked up into his eyes, seeing that he realized who I was. "I love you." He said as he cried. I snuggled closer to him, "I love you too." I said.

2 months later

Andy had fought his cancer and didn't give into depression any longer and he lived on, though his lungs were permanently damaged, he still lived normally, just wasn't able to sing as good as he used to. I took a deep breath as I walked down the aisle in my white flowing gown, seeing my love, Andy, waiting for me at the end, feeling the stares of many people, and smiling as I heard them play In The End.