The Lord in Blue

Chapter 5

"You are getting married? How? When? What?" I can't believe what I just heard.

"We were on one of our dates, tired of having to hide, and I just blurted it out, not thinking about it. And he said yes." 

They look at each other, smiling, and that feeling of jealousy comes back.

"I'm so happy for you, cousin. For you too, my lord."

"I think you can start calling him Benjamin. We all are going to be family very soon" she says, already on her way to get some champagne and celebrate.

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A few days later the most important lords and ladies are summoned to the palace, totally unaware of what the Queen is about to tell them. We all gather on the big room used for receptions, and I scan the crowd, looking for familiar faces. Looking for him. 

As usual, he is wearing all blue, standing next to Lord Rice and laughing at whatever joke he's told this time. I can feel myself smiling like an idiot, that heat coming back to my face. But it doesn't last long. The big doors of the open, and the Queen comes in, her arm wrapped on Lord White's, making everyone start to whisper.

"My lords and ladies" she says, the whole room going silent the moment she starts speaking. "I've gathered you here today to share some really good news with you all." Before continuing, she looks at Lord White, who gives her an encouraging smile. "I am getting married."

People gasp, look at each other, and after a few seconds of silence, they start clapping and cheering for the couple. The Queen keeps talking, but I'm looking at Lord Mount. He looks... sad? Angry? Both? Why would he look like that? "You want to marry me to your lover?" "I know how it sounds, cousin. But trust me, there was no love there, and it ended a long time ago. We both have moved on." We both have moved on, she said. You may have, cousin, but he doesn't look like it. One does not look that gutted when he hears someone is getting married unless there are feelings involved. He loved her. And he still loves her, he hasn't moved on. And here I am, not being able to stop thinking about him, making stories in my head every night before falling asleep, when he is thinking about another woman. I'm an idiot. A complete idiot who needs to go smash something. Or cry. Maybe smash something while crying.

I leave the room and walk to the garden. Once there, I grab a big stick I find lying on the floor, ready to start hitting a tree, wondering if I can still remember what my father taught me about sword fighting when I was just a kid. I find the perfect tree to let my frustration go, a huge oak that probably won't feel my anger when I hit it. There are a couple of squirrels on one of the branches who look at me with a confused look. For some reason, they make me even more angry, so I start hitting the tree. I hit it, and I cry, and I scream. I must look mad, but it feels so good.

"My lady?" someone says behind me. I jump when I hear the voice, my stick flying away and almost hitting the squirrels, who go hide somewhere. I turn around and see Lord Mount.

"What are you doing here?" I grunt, my manners completely gone.

"I saw you leaving the palace and you looked pretty upset. I wanted to check if you were alright."

"Yeah, sure" I say, trying to clean some of the tears from my face.

"What happened? Aren't you happy for your cousin?" he says, getting a little bit closer to me.

"I am very happy for her and Lord White. What about you?"

"Me?" he asks, confused.

"I saw the way you reacted, my lord. You didn't look very happy with the news."

"I am very happy for the Queen and Lord White, my lady. She deserves to be loved, and you can clearly see there is lots of it between them."

"Then why that face?" I ask, my anger coming back.

"I..." he says while running his hand through his hair, nervous. I love it when he does that, but now it's not the time to think about those things. "I am jealous" he finally says. "I am jealous of what they have, I want it too. But the woman I like, the one I want to have that with, seems to be more interested in my friend than myself."

The woman he likes? And his best friend? I'm very confused, and my face must be showing it judging by his reaction. 

"I'm talking about you, my lady. About you and Dec."

"Me? Dec? What?"

"I've seen you together" he says, his voice breaking. "I've seen the way he looks at you, how you are always smiling and laughing when he's around. But you aren't like that with me. I thought something had happened that day when we went on a walk alone, but since then you can barely look me in the eyes. When you do, you instantly look the other way. And it hurts so much when you do that." I can't process what is happening. Did he just say that he likes me? Me? "I guess your silence just confirms what I was thinking" he says as he starts turning his back on me.

"Mason, wait!" I finally manage to say. "Lord Rice and I are just friends. I don't have any type of feelings for him besides friendship. And I do look at you. A lot. You don't seem to have noticed, but every time you are around I can't help but stare at you like an idiot. If when we are together I avoid looking you in the eyes is because..." I sigh, struggling to find the right words. "If I can't look you in the eye for more than just a few seconds it's because I like you too. Because every time I look at you and you look back at me, I feel this thing inside me, this heat that doesn't let me think straight. And it scares me, and..."

"You like me?" he asks.

"I do, yes. A lot." There it is. I've said it. And before I can say anything else, he is in front of me, his hands on my face, his lips on mine.

When we break apart he's smiling, that damned dimple showing. I lift my hand to touch it, but we hear someone coming.

"Mase? My lady?" Lord Rice. He must have seen us leave. "Oh, there you are" he says when he finds us. We've moved away from each other, trying to act as if a moment ago we weren't on each other's arms. "My lady, please tell me you didn't faint again" Lord Rice says.

"Uh?" That's the only thing I manage to say.

"She didn't, Dec" Lord Mount says. "I followed her because I was worried she may hurt herself, but she just needed a minute alone to process the news. Her majesty had kept her engagement a surprise for her too, hadn't she?" I just nod. "We should go back inside" he says. I nod again, still trying to understand what just happened.

As I walk past Lord Mount, I feel his hand touching mine. It's the smallest of things, but it sends a wave of heat through my body that I had never felt before.