This Growing Pain

Chapter 7

"You know what, Jey. Kaya hindi mo maipinta ng maayos, wala kang mahanap na rason kung bakit mo ginagawa. Are you doing this just because I am painting here? No, alright. If you want to be good at painting, you must love the art first and above all. Learn how to put more of you and meaning to your craft. It will be a masterpiece, I'm telling you."
 
It was the advice I got from one of the best painters I know.
 
Jillean helped me finish the other half of my painting. It was just the trees in front of the treehouse's balcony that I painted. I wanted to paint it for no exact reason.
 
Siguro ay madalas ko lang ito makita. Now that she said I must know why I painted it, I think of it.

Maybe...it's because we stare at the same trees most of the time, and I know that nothing really remains forever. I'd like to keep this thing.
 
Hindi natin alam. Baka mawala nalang ito o hindi ko makita isang araw. If I paint it, the memories we made here will always come back.

I wanted to learn how to paint. It's something that I find amusing now. Unlike taking pictures, this takes effort and passion. I like it, especially when I finish a good one and am ready to keep it. Jillean's proud face looking at my work gives me the entire joy of doing it.
 
Jillean and I, our faces were just an inches apart. Of course, she's in front of my canvas, giving a final touch to what I have done. I was absent-mindedly staring at her when my paintbrush painted on her cheek.
 
Napatigil siya nang dahil doon. Napatingin ito sa akin. Nakakaduling ang lapit ng mata naming dalawa. I was still staring at her. She doesn't even know what's going on. Pakiramdam ko naririnig niya ang bilis ng pagtibok ng puso ko bawat minuto sa sobrang lapit namin sa isa't isa.
 
Nagkunot ang kaniyang noo. "What was that for?" she starts glaring at me like what I did is something so bad and I need to pay for it.

Hindi ako agad nakasagot. Mukha akong tangang napatitig sa kaniyang mukha. That small face....those almond eyes...the exact height of her small nose...and her thin lips—I'm not finding this adorable visual in a girl, but the one that I like has it. I'm wondering if it's fair for everyone if I admire this.

Right after, her lips slowly curled into a smile—a smile that eventually turned into laughter, showing her cute teeth and pinkish gums. Her gummy smile is contagious. I can't help but also laugh looking at her cheeks covered with green paint.
 
Hindi man kasi niya alam na kaya ko pinupunasan ang parte ng mukha nuts gamit ang tissue ay pahilim ko iyong isinaw-saw sa paint. I used my brush to finish the masterpiece.

This is the most satisfying revenge I've ever taken on her for drawing a mustache and connecting my eyebrows the last time I slept here.
 
It's been two months since Jillean's grandmother died. One and a half months since my mother died. In those days, we were in the process of moving on. We're still in, but we're making progress now.
 
Kahit papaano ay nakakatawa na kami ng mas madalas kaysa noon. On those days, I was with Jillean. And each day, the more I see her, the harder I fall for her.
 
It's not something I will keep denying myself anymore. I like Jillean. I really do. I love the presence of this girl in my life. I do.

"What does that painting mean?" I pointed at the canvas hanging on my left side.
 
There are two hands there. A hand of a girl and a boy. And it's not holding hands; only the pointing fingers make them connected. There were infinity bracelets on their wrists.

Mga kamay na magkakalayo na, kamay na minsan ay hindi mapaghiwalay. This is just a feeling, but I feel like it's about Henry and her.

"That's what I painted the day I decided to leave," she said bitterly. "It means good-bye. I'm saying good-bye. Dahil alam ko noong araw na umalis ako...na nawala ako...naputol na rin ang koneksyon naming dalawa." Napatigil siya saglit saka bumuntong hininga. "By the way, it's done! I'm out of his life now. We're out of each other's lives, so yeah! Let's now finish your art."