From: The Trenches

Revenge

Connie knew he wasn't doing well, when realized he wasn't sleeping he started drinking. Then he started downing more when he realized how much more he was sleeping.

He can't stop thinking about Jean, and what happened to him because he doesn't even know himself. He doesn't know what state he was in when he died, was he scared? Did he see it coming?

The night before Sasha came to get him, he went to see Jean. Nights have been getting harder and harder for him so he paid his friend a visit.

He sat on the grass, staring at his tombstone. The sight of Jean's name makes Connie hang his head. He pulls a personal bottle of Hennessy, placing it in front of the stone.

"I can't do this Jean, I'm tired" tears formed in his eyes once again. "Everyone will hate me but I can't live like this"

The flowers around him are still fresh. "Before I leave this place I'm gonna find out what happened to you and take care of it"

He puts one knee up, leaning his face on it. "I have to" he tries to convince himself.

"My mom is gonna be soooo so disappointed, but I think I can live with that surprisingly, but I don't know really, I think about it every time I'm in that house... probably why I can't sleep"

He perks up "but I think I finally found a way to forgive myself, for all the stuff  I thought was my fault, then I'll just have to live with what I'm about to do and that's easier than the past"

He laid down in the grass, the flowers surrounding his head. In a way he did feel at peace just by laying down next to him.

"I wish I could dig a hole and lay next to you, but you're probably sick of me" he chuckles.

He gasps, popping his head up. "Did you see Mikasa?! She's so into you... sike but she was devastated"

He laid there for an hour, occasionally talking to Jean. It's when Armin called him about the plan he got up, thanked Jean and wished him a Goodnight then left.

They sat at Levi's home office looking over maps. "This spot here, the through here and you'll lose your scent-"

"No, I'll go up here, take a dip and hide out" Connie circles a different spot.

"Will you be able to make it?"

"Why do you think I've actually let you watch me run treadmill all week at 4 am?"

"My bad... are you sure you wanna do this I won't be mad-"

"If you can't pry it out of Riener of why Jean is dead then I will"

Armin looks back down at the map "what about your mom? And Sasha?!"

"I've made my own plan, when Levi wins this will all be over, you'll be free too, life as a corrupt cop is over" he thinks over what Armin just said. "It doesn't matter what my family thinks, I should've been over them a long time ago"

"This isn't what she would've-"

"STOP IT" he snaps. "I have to know, and they don't deserve to live"

Armin sighs, failing at not being able to talk him out of it. The plan was done, it was just a waiting game for the planned date.

It wasn't till 6 am when Connie got back home, he was stressing over everything. Especially what his family would think, it's the reason he got in the tub because he couldn't breathe. He thought he was sick in the mind because he knew his resolve wasn't strong.

Sasha found him still in the tub with the water running that morning. She took him to the big house.

He still kept to his schedule, except without all the drinking. He honestly couldn't take the way Sasha would pat him down damn near every hour of the day.