After starting high school and feeling completely out of place for the first year, I finally found the kind of friends that actually made me happy. We all grew really close in the first year we knew each other, and apparently, I managed to charm one of them enough that she fell for me. Pressure from all sides forced me into eventually confronting this fact, and we started dating at the end of that year. The only problem was, I am gay.
I didn't want to start a facade, so I had to just let it die. In two weeks it was over, and both of us were hurt. I know this isn't as tragic as some of the other stories, and she's certainly moved on by now, but what hurts me the most is that I lost one of my best friends. We were both part of a large circle of friends so we regularly came into contact for the rest of high school. Our moms also became best friends, which didn't help. And every time we see each other there's this awful silent barrier between us. I pretend I don't care, and she certainly doesn't, but for some reason I just can't let go. Despite my sexuality, I think I could have loved her, and I think I still do.
We met again at a New Years party. We exchanged a few meaningless words at the beginning, but even excessive drinking didn't take us past that. Since then I keep having dreams about her. In the dreams we're friends again, just enjoying each others company with others. I feel incredibly warm and comforted. But I'll never actually have that again.
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Non-Fictionove stories don't always have a happy ending. You might fall for someone who doesn't return your phone calls or dates your best friend or simply doesn't feel the same way you do. DW, heartbreak won't stop you from moving on and pursuing new relation...
