Dad...

At first,

At first,

Your side of my heart was filled with love, trust, and happiness.

I always thought it would stay like that but...I was wrong. Your mental health is all kinds of bad because you didn't and still don't know how to fix it, you destroyed mine. I really do wish you knew how much words can hurt because maybe if you did, I would be better and not have to be ashamed and not have to know how to tolerate such behavior like yours.

You want to know something? For the most part it's all your fault that I can't even feel the sadness that I should be feeling because of you. Everything that you put me through all I feel is nothing. I'm just numb. Even with the horrible anger issues that you gave me I can't even feel angry with the things you do. Not until way after. At times I wish I never found out the truth about you. I would really do anything just to feel happy with you again. But overall, I'm glad I found out because now I can't fall for all your lies and tricks of manipulation.

Well, you could probably guess how your side of my heart is now, but I'm just going to tell you anyway; it's filled with hatred, anger, dishonesty, disgust, and many more.

Wow!

Can you really not tell how bad you made it for yourself? Like do you just feed off of all of these horrible and negative things and not even try to put effort and fix it. Like how messed up can you really be.

Anyways, all I have left to say is that I'm ashamed of both you and me. First, I'm ashamed of myself because I know that I have a part of you in me. A part that is horrible and that no one in the world would want. Lastly, I'm ashamed of you because for the rest of my life I have to live knowing that the person that hurt me the most is my own father.