is it

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The more i thought of it, is the more i got to wonder why in life it had to be me,close to the bridge that was so far that  i barely made a form of it. The blurry vision and the illogical turn of event was just enough  to make my life worse that she was able to brake every bone in me without any fight. To be clear she was clever and i was a fool to fall for that look  which was as cunning as those of a hare  and that even the great philosopher would thrive his entire life trying to figure her out. It wasn't her structure that made her so complicated but the way she handled herself near everyone. I could see every thing was in the right order, but something else was still hidden deep in her eyes. I blushed off the urge to meet up with her every time i had an opportunity and just promise myself that in the near future i would be danging all through campus with angelic lady, bragging to my friend how smooth i was.

The image of her near me was one i would kill for and hoping i still remain with till the end of my life. Even though it wasn't as clear as the bright morning blue sky,  it was clear enough to make me feel safe in her presence. I didn't care whether i was in a capsizing boat  her  tender body  was radiating the warmth that somehow mesmerized me in a way.

"Are you alright dear?"

"Yeah, am with you now."

She turned away, gazing at the blue sky that seemed to engulf the whole atmosphere and  which was constantly getting spotted with some weird looking cloud. She seemed to pay more attention to the sky as if they meant something to her. As if there were there at that moment to symbolise something. They had formed shape of all kind which appeared in interval each should a picture of it own. But  the most interesting  one,  was of a sheep trying its best to free itself while another tiger shaped approaching, moved by the strong wind up there heading its way to the trapped sheep  thatit made it look much strong.

"Did see that?"

"What?"

" That sheep is unable to get out of the trap." she said while smiling.

Soon the smile fade away as she saw the tiger approaching while i smiled along side in effort to inflict the joy i felt near her. I had to come in to calm her nerves down and at least bring back the mood of passion in the environment.

"Oh yeah, do you think its a sign?"

"Yeah, i that is why i think we shouldn't be together at all."

My heart sudden stopped, trying my best not show how piercing the question had shot it way into my heart. I raised my head up trying to get a better view of her beautiful face at least to confirm i wasn't lying down with an impostor. She was so young , innocent that no one could believe that word as cruel as that came out of her lofty tender lips. Her eyes were closed and her eye shadow shining so brightly from the reflection of the warm summer sun. My mind still frozen, dumbstriken by her bueaty  and the thought that i was in the final lap of losing her. this time not for a day or a month or a couple of months but for ever surely nothing was flowing in or out of my brain. The tension between us  was enough to describe the next step to a relationship that we had build over a decade.

"Why would you say that dear?"

"I mean you had i crush on me for over two year, and now that we are together you have already lost interest on me. It seems to me like you got what you wanted and now am just a garbage ready o be trashed."

"no no no don't ever think like that dear, i love and it doesn't matter what i have to undergo to have you beside me forever."

by the a tear drop had found it had to remain in her eye soaking it way through her cheeks leaving just expressionless face. it was so hard to handle her in this kind of state by the way she held her eye you would automatically find yourself clearing in mercy of this poor creature.

"hey, what is it?"

"i thought this was the perfect time to tell you that i will be getting marriage to a friend of my father, they made me do it i had no option but to agree."

she blinked at least to hold on the flowing tear and at least catching a breathe to what she was giving me.

"it just that i would also wish that it was just us in that wedding."

she turn over her huge face with big eye spotted at the right proportion to her face , all wet from the sobbing and constantly brushing off the tear with her right hand. she looked effortless and had lost her hope in having me near her anymore and in spite the life we spent to it she was willing to take her life away just to be away from this world if not me. the environment had capture all it had with break up and i wasn't ready to hold on the end which it seemed as if i was the only one holding trying to rescue the relationship we had .

"We can elope dear!"

"and?"

"we can start off, is that what you want?"

"i don't know, i so confused right now."

it was true the bright eyes that for year i loved to watch was now filled with a great darkness that it was hard for me to light en the back to the beautiful eye i saw my first day in the school soccer field. they were now furnished with sadness and despair that it was our last day to be this close if she were to get married.

my heart must be throbbing hard against my chest from the words that had echoed all through in my head. i was still coming in  to terms with what she had said  just brushing my deep dark mane that stretched to my should. it should have been easy but for a moment my lung were just airless wishing that this moment to pass by the earth swallowing me alive. 

And the the last option came into my head, deeply i closed my eye aim right to the spot where my lips could plunge into hers.  the moment still filled with passion and love between the two love birds  laying beside the cool calm water of a river.

"what are you doing?"

"what you want dear!"

"that  gross."

"what you are my girlfriend right?"

"no fool am you mother."

that was the moment i flashed my eyes wide open when a glare of light hit hard on my eyelid as mom opened the widows wide. the sun was so unfair  heading up straight in a moment that i had waited for and of which i was to wait for. the rays of the east lands in the capital city of Kenya Nairobi were just as harsh as those in Kalahari desert. and when i was awake i was so disappointed to realise all that we had said to each other was just a mere dream that if anything would never come true. to and injury to my would was the fact that my mom was the one receiving the romantic epic from his son.

the awkward moment was still in the air, with all my frustration displayed on my face as mom moved from  corner to corner.

"son, are you alright."

 i knew where the conversation was heading and i was not the one to give in to my just like she had to pay a price and with my frustrated life i was willing to play hard to get. my mom was one of the mom of which every teenage hate and not literary hate but pure one. she would see the disappoint in my eyes and there was no way she was going to stop bragging until she was certain that everything was settle.

"hey, you can tell me anything am your mother."

at that moment i new she would never stop and i had to figure out a lie that would get her off my back. the sharply tiny eye could project out anything that was a lie and hence this called for  convincing story if not sobbing to reduce facial interaction.

"i have been having nightmare of my dad, and there is this lady who constantly kills my dad when she finally comes after me. i dont know what to do."

"sorry honey we said we never talk about your dad in this room."

"is that so, i thought when dad was here you much happier that any of neighbour"

"i know you still hurt about the divoce  and i think growing with a single mom has made it impossible to have some female attributes, but that is in the past."

"is it?"

 

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 13, 2013 ⏰

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