Twilight Jealousy

what did I do?

(Edward)
Ok so I told her I want her and kissed her she is a vampire after all and pushed me away. I went flying across the room. It was painful. The next day I didn't go to school. After school the rest of my brothers and sisters came home without alice. I asked them where alice is. They answerd
"Bella wasn't in school alice made us go to her house because she wanted to talk to her. When we drove up she was putting her bags into the car. Alice jumped out of the car and told us to stay she asked bella well she bombarded her with them and all bella said was that she can't she can't stay that she loves you and can't stay alice hugged her and told us to go home she went into bellas house the bags are still in the car tho." I was shocked I was mad at myself.
"I need to see her I need to apologise I need to ..... I'm going over there"
"No your not, she is sad and needs a friend she need a girlfriend not a boy and defently not you edward give her some time" Carlisle was always right so I went up to my room to sulk what did I do? I need her I am a fucking retard! I love her and need her I..... hate myself I want her back. Not that I ever had her.