Alone, all alone

Chapter 1

Meredith couldn't help but stare at Izzie as she expressed her feelings, looking away slightly.

"You're basically calling me a whore Izzie" Meredith said dryly, Izzie scoffing slightly, reading the chart in her hands yet another time, Meredith looking back up at her.

"Well what would you call yourself Meredith? Because you're not a victim anymore, you are just plain milking it. Leave me alone" Meredith just stood, walking out the room, Izzie wiping away a stray tear from her cheek. As she turned the corner away from the NICU, she couldn't help but roll her eyes as she saw Derek coming up the corridor, trying to quickly find an escape but realising there wasn't one.

"You look stressed" He stated, stopping her in her tracks.

"Yeah well I have things to be stressed about" She shot back shortly, looking at Derek who's eyes were soft and comforting, but Meredith was not in the mood.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No Dr Shepherd I do not want to talk about it" She exclaimed, Derek turning to look at her properly.

"Meredith-"

"No Derek, I am done with this. I can't do it"

"I want to leave Addison Meredith, I don't want her"

"I gave you a chance to choose between me and here Derek, and when you chose, you chose her. What's changed?"

"I love you in ways I can't love her. I didn't want to throw away those 11 years but, what is 11 years to a life time" She couldn't help but feel her eyes well up, shaking her head with an exasperated sigh.

"I am a mess Derek. I make things complicated and I screw things up and I can't do that again. You are just better off without me" She turned on her heel and walked away, leaving Derek alone in the hallway. He groaned out loud, walking away to his post-operative rounds. He found Addison walking out of a patients room, sighing when she grinned widely at him.

"So Derek, I was thinking we could book reservations tonight and go for a meal. Just you and me" He couldn't stop the words as they left his mouth, glad that the hallway was empty.

"I want a divorce Addison"

"You what?" She chocked out, her eyes wide in horror.

"I tried but I can't- I want a divorce"

"This is about Meredith isn't it?"

"Why do you put the blame of everything onto her?" Derek exclaimed annoyingly, throwing the chart he had in his hand onto the nurses desk in frustration.

"Because Derek, you ran away and started a new life with the woman! Why can't you just put it in your past and move on like you told me you would try and do?"

"Because Addison, you are my past. You are the thing of the past and Meredith, she- she isn't the only reason I want this"

"Yeah, of course she isn't. You can sign the damn papers and I'll be out of your hair within the week" She said bitterly, running away from him defeated.

__________________________________________
Meredith sat on the bench in the locker room with her head in her hands, looking up when Cristina and George walked in, the two looking ready to leave.

"What's up with you?" Cristina asked, opening her locker pulling her bag out.

"Derek" Meredith mumbled, Cristina scoffing slightly.

"As always"

"What did you say?"

"I said like always Meredith. It's always him" Cristina shouted, Meredith leaning back in defence.