Cloudy days (shots) - Yeonjun

☁️Back together

Between the daytime traffic and my bad luck running into every red light in existence, I ended up being twenty minutes late for the bus to arrive. That hurt me, because I was afraid that because of my tardiness I would miss him.

It's just that I've been waiting for him for over twenty months, and I just can't help but be nervous, which makes me slower than normal, which makes me dizzier than normal, which does not benefit me at all right now.

He's been gone so long...I miss seeing him. Everything reminds me of him, from the day he left with his backpack full of belongings and fresh from medical internship; he looked me in the eyes while he calmed me with his 'don't worry, I'll be back before you know it.'

But that didn't take away the pain I felt as I watched the bus drive away with all those other men ready to serve our nation. Somehow, I felt accompanied by the mothers and various other girls by my side that day; Seeing them, it was as if we all knew the pain it caused us to see them go, as if something had been ripped away. We all cried until  our voices were hoarse from mourning so much.

I wondered how many of them I would see again, now that more than a year has passed. I knew that many women don't wait for their boyfriends: many believe that it is easy to use the time apart to let themselves cheat with the best friend or with any other guy, to slowly stop calling, to stop waiting for news...then, using the excuse the lack of attention for having the partner away is the only thing left for the man that returns.

I hated those stories. That's why I also promised myself that I wouldn't be like them, not only because I considered myself a better person but also because Yeonjun, my boyfriend, is everything to me. From the moment I met him, in the same ethics class, I knew he was something special. I'd slowly began to make an effort to see myself prettier, taller, with a lighter complexion, to see if in any of those attempts, I was capable to get his attention.

Even if I knew that we were two years apart, it was impossible for me not to think about how much I wanted to have him for myself; no longer for vanity but for him. Because it was in a teamwork together and after having him closer every time, when we started to really talk and I realized the person he was. That, in addition to being handsome with smiling eyes, he was a candid person, who cared about others, about the happiness of his family and himself but above all, to serve the citizenry.

He was full of the feeling of owing something to the world, that's why he studied medicine, and that's why he was never sad when talking about the time in which he would serve his army: because he knew his place and that it was useless to feel miserable about something that would happen wether he liked it or not.

It was that his indomitable heart that attracted me like crazy, until one day I plucked up the courage and asked him out.

Later he would tell me that I and no one else was the only one who made him hesitate to leave; the only one that put his acknowledgment of duty to the test, because in literal words he 'did not want to lose me, because I was the most special thing for him'.

I swore to him that I would never leave him, but my words did not calm him down, and the closer he got to the date, the more he feared leaving me.

The final night we stared at the ceiling with frozen yogurt between us, we were talking about trivial things like the weather or the homework I had in the middle of my career, until I remember very well that there was a silence, and out of nowhere his hand took mine. I turned at him wanting to cry because of the fear I felt in his eyes. That night we did nothing but look at each other in silence and cry. In our minds we knew that we were asking each other not to forget; We prayed for our love to be stronger than not seeing each other.

You know, time is curious because eternities can seem like seconds, and although every second missing his voice calling me rumbled with a pain in my chest, in the end, as I drove to pick him up from the bus, it seems to me that all that time had been nothing more that a bad dream.