Promises

Promises can be so easily made, and so easily forgotten. They're mostly made on a whim, just to please yourself or someone else. I've made plenty, but so have you. I've forgotten, but so have you. But out of the both of us, yours was worse to break. Yours was friendship without complications,yours was that no matter what happened, we'd stay friends, best friends. You broke that promise. Or maybe forgot. I don't know anymore. I don't know you anymore, no more than that first "Hello". Or even that last "Goodbye..." I don't miss you, rather than who you used to be. I miss those "I love you"s and those "Goodnight beautiful"s. And even you just calling me "Love". You once told me you thought of her when speaking to me, that you didn't want to screw us up... You told me so many excuses that I can barely remember them all. And in the midst of everything, not only did you, but myself also, messed up our meager little friendship. I thought I could count on you for anything. I thought that through everything we'd been through together, that maybe, it was the happy ending I always read about in books... But you ended up just being another nightmare in my mere life. Another reason as to why I cry every night in bed, why I'll have a breakdown just thinking about you, why I fin myself shaking uncontrollably if I see someone who looks like you, and why I don't trust anyone, not even myself. You're the reason why I will never be the same again, why I lock everyone out, everyone but you. You were supposed to be there for me, you failed me more than anyone has ever failed me before. I cared about you more than I cared for myself. I trusted you with with secrets no one else knew. I thought you were special. I thought you loved me. I thought so many stupid things. I broke that promise because I couldn't stand what you did, and because I didn't want to hurt you, like you hurt me. Promises are so easily made, but are also so easily forgotten.