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tw//starvation
"you going to changbin's party tonight?" jeongin asked, looking at hyunjin, who was studying as usual.
"no," hyunjin muttered, furrowing his eyebrows as he struggled to answer one math problem.
"you guys know he doesn't do that kind of stuff," seungmin sighed as he walked next to the blond, solving the equation for him, "see? it wasn't that hard."
"c'mon, hyun. it'll be fun! you can meet new people," felix tried to convince the elder, but it probably wouldn't work.
"i don't need to meet new people," hyunjin finally looked up from his work, which had jeongin instantly running towards him.
"look at your eyes! have you slept?" the youngest questioned, holding hyunjin's face in his hands before the blond shook him away.
"i'm fine. maybe you guys should study more instead of going to parties all the time and you wouldn't be so.. stupid."
all the males paused for a minute, thinking about what hyunjin said. he didn't mean that.. right?
but instead of apologizing, hyunjin turned right back to the math paper, feeling no remorse for the words that escaped his mouth.
"hyunjin, you know it wouldn't hurt to be such a bitch all the time? i couldn't care less about whatever the hell you want to say to me, but don't be rude to jeongin and felix. you're such a dick," seungmin exploded, quickly pushing the two others out of the room.
hyunjin didn't respond. anyone else would've thought he was ignoring seungmin, but he was actually just taking time to process what the younger stated, "i didn't mean to."
the blond didn't sound sorry.
"i know," the black-haired boy walked over to the elder, hugging him.
"don't." hyunjin shrugged seungmin off of him.
the latter chuckled, "yeah, i forgot you don't really do physical affection," seungmin paused," can you try apologizing to them later? they're your newer friends and struggle to tell when you mean stuff or not."
"yeah, i can try," the blond was still staring at a specific problem.
"thanks," seungmin looked over at him, "having trouble again?"
"no."
seungmin took that as his signal that he can leave, even though this was his dorm. the male met with felix and jeongin, who were eating snacks in the kitchen.
hyunjin, on the other hand, was startled when he noticed a drop of water on his paper. the boy instantly threw his hand up to his face, causing more to fall onto the white sheet.
he wasn't supposed to be doing that. he wasn't supposed to be crying. he's not allowed. when you get in trouble, you're to be punished, but how?
hyunjin's stomach growled, and he slightly smiled to himself. let's go for 2 days.
-
"are you sure you don't want to go to the party?" felix asked. the boys were saying goodbyes to hyunjin before he left to his own dorm.
"yeah."
"well, okay. we're getting something to eat after it, so we could bring you something if you'd like," jeongin shrugged.
"i'm good. there should be food in my dorm anyways," he lied.
"i love you, treat yourself good. stop studying so much." seungmin bitterly smiled, knowing hyunjin wouldn't say those three words back, but he didn't care too much.
"ok, bye."
the door shut and hyunjin began his journey to his dorm room. the number was 111, which wasn't too far from seungmin's dorm.
speaking of 111, when felix first found out that was his dorm room number, he mentioned something about it meaning to "trust your gut and follow your heart." whatever that's supposed to mean. hyunjin didn't care too much for it.
the elder was already there. taking out his key, he unlocked the door. as expected, the whole place was dark, lights turned off.
hyunjin walked into the bedroom, ready to sleep off this hunger he was experiencing. turning on the lights, just to get a good idea of where everything was, he turned them back off. there was a slight light coming through the window anyways, so he could see the bunkbed.
"you're top bunk," a voice said. hyunjin almost jumped at the sudden noise.
"seriously?" a rhetorical question, he didn't want to really talk right now. either way, he climbed to the top bed, making himself comfortable.
right before the blond was about to sleep, the voice spoke again, "i'm sorry about how my boyfriend was acting earlier."
"it's fine."
"are you sur-"
"just because we're roommates, doesn't mean we have to talk to each other. it's the same at school, so just stop."
"damn," minho chuckled to himself, "did you not have little talks with your roommate last year?"
"i chose to not have one last year. there's no need for 'little talks' anyways," hyunjin sighed.
"they can get a lot off of your chest. you sure you don't want to have one?"
hyunjin rolled over, his head buried in his pillow, "no, i don't want to have one."
"okay. that's fine with me. sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite."
as if this conversation couldn't get any worse, hyunjin's stomach started to growl— in complete silence.
"have you eaten?"
"no."
"why not?"
"because i'm not hungry."
minho smiled at the bed over him, "your stomach says otherwise."
"i said i'm not hungry. don't you have a party to get to, anyways?" hyunjin rolled his eyes.
"ever heard of a nap?"
"no, i haven't actually," he sarcastically responded.
"you can be funny sometimes."
"what made you think i couldn't?"
"you never are."
"we don't even talk, so how would you know in the first place?"
"just a guess," minho kicked the top bunk, causing hyunjin to groan loudly, "since you don't like talking, are you a good listener?"
"sure."
"i think i want to be a singer when i graduate," minho began.
"why don't you just be one right now?" hyunjin asked, raising an eyebrow, even though no one could see it.
"i want to finish school first."
"hm. i'll tell you something too."
"okay."
"i wish i wasn't seen as the school's sun."
"what? why?" minho sounded bewildered, which almost made hyunjin crack a smile.
"it's scary. that's it for tonight."
minho continued asking questions, assuming that hyunjin was just ignoring him, but the latter was actually asleep. turns out, talking wears him out, maybe that's why he doesn't do it much, he thought.
