Affectionate Dream ✔

Chapter 1

Where did it all go wrong? Was it when he sent the confession letter, and told her there was an escape? Or was it even earlier, when he held the Cotton Rose cream gently in his two hands, deep in thought? Or perhaps, were things already not meant to be from the moment they first met?

Ye Qingti has been thinking about these questions a lot since he woke up in his immortal body. If time could turn back, could things have happened differently? If time could turn back, would he still make the same decisions? During the uneventful days in the Underworld and up in the Sky Kingdom, Qingti has been cultivating his magical skills. In particular, he has been experimenting with time travel, trying to find answers to his questions. Or more simply, he just wanted to return to those times, before everything really went wrong. After weeks and months of practicing, at last, he thinks he has done it. He lay down on his bed, closing his eyes, and he got whisked away in a gentle turquoise mist.

When he opened his eyes, tears immediately fell out of them and onto his clothes. It really happened. He was back to that day: moments before Xiaojiu was truly out of reach, the day before she was chosen to be the Empress. Before him was the new set of clothes Xiaojiu had gifted him for her Crowning Ceremony.

Was it possible to lose something if you've never truly had it? Qingti himself wasn't sure what the answer to this question was, but the heartache he felt inside seemed to be telling him yes, it was possible. He watched as the rain hit the screened window at a steep angle, slowly wetting it. Even though he had been here before and experienced this already, it didn't hurt any less the second time around. If anything, it hurt more. He reached out to touch the clothes, possibly the last thing Xiaojiu would ever give him, when he found a note hidden in between the folds.

"I'm willing to accompany you through everything."

As expected, nothing has changed from the past; everything was going just as it did previously. He held Xiaojiu's note in his hands tightly, remembering what had happened just the day before.

"Xiaojiu, I've heard you've been promoted to the Empress. I feel absent-minded, as if I've lost something. I shed tears and wet my clothes. I force myself to smile but I feel so sad..."

When Qingti wrote down these words and encased it in an envelope addressed to Madam Jiu, it was perhaps one of the more vulnerable moments in his twenty-three years of life. But Qingti was a brave person, and even though he knew things may not turn out the way he wanted, he went to try anyway.

When he came into Xiaojiu's courtyard, her maid Mu Yun was chattering excitedly about her becoming the empress. However, Xiaojiu did not seem half as enthused about the matter. Poking his head out from behind the pillar where he hid, he saw her simply standing and listening, not showing a hint of pleasure at all. Just at that moment, she turned her head very slightly as if she knew he was there, and he panicked and returned to his hiding spot.

"Mu Yun, go on, I'd like to enjoy the flowers alone."

"As you wish."

Qingti knew she said this because of him. Cautiously, he emerged from his poor hiding spot, clutching his letter tightly from within his sleeve. She was staring blankly at the cotton roses a few feet away. He went and stood by her side, also gazing at the frilly white flowers before him. At this time, he remembered how she sighed and said things were unpredictable. Even though she was getting one of the highest positions one could get, there was nothing to congratulate her on.

It was evident Xiaojiu wasn't content with the outcome of everything. Qingti turned to look at her, a distressed expression crossing his face. The air was still and silent.

"Are you happy?" His voice and his simple question permeated the silence.

"I should be, shouldn't I?" She paused, not moving her gaze from in front of her. "But..."

"If you really aren't happy, you must tell me."

She finally turned to look at him and smiled bitterly, her delicate hairpiece swinging behind her. He felt butterflies in his stomach.

"Then, do you have any plan to help me escape from everything?" She looked away, returning her attention to the flowers. "Don't be silly."

He continued staring at her, and had decided it was time to give her the letter.

"Xiaojiu," he began, "There's quite a few things I've always wanted to say to you." He pulled the letter from out of his sleeve and gently handed it to her. "I've written them all here." Though a bit puzzled, she took the letter. Before she could ask him what it was about, Qingti was already briskly walking away; seemingly calm on the outside, but internally, his heart was racing, and he was fleeing as fast as he could.

Returning from his flashback, Qingti looked at the letter from Xiaojiu that was now in his hands. It wasn't a letter of acceptance or reciprocation, but rather just a letter written by a girl who wanted to run away, as far away as possible. Even though he knew it wasn't acceptance, he felt that he could take anything she would give him. And this time, the second time around, he would try to change their ending.