Art Book

32

Hey guys...so, I'm really to a point I am just fed up with it all.Just wanna kill myself pretty badly. I lost someone close to me today and....I wish I could just be better for them. I care deeply about them and.....I wish I was better for them. I blame myself and I hate myself for not being better. I hate myself so much for not being a better person to them and...I wanna say sorry. I really do. But- I don't think I'll ever get the chance to make things right. I really just hate myself. I wanna make them smile again, I wanna see them laugh and be happy. and I think I never will again. If they, for some reason, read this. I don't think they will. I'm just sorry. You were right. That's all I can say anymore-I just......they're close to me and mean so much to me to a point I can't describe. Loosing them was a major hit on me. And...I hope in time....I can have them back and make them smile again. I love them.

I really love them and I wanna make them happy again 

I can't get the voices out of my head. They're telling me I need to just kill myself to make them happier. To hurt myself to be the better person the deserved. 

I want this just to be over....I want the person I love back
I don't care how much I have to fix myself. 

I just wanna see them smile again and hear their amazing voice....

I just wanna make them feel loved and I wanna give the world to them. I wanna give them everything they deserve 10 fold. 
I was wrong and I wanna do anything to make it right. 

I don't think they'll every talk to me again.....and I'll hold that guilt. 
No. This isn't a guilt trip...It's just me wanting the person I love back. 

I wanna fix my mistakes and be the best for them because I love them. More then I can ever say. 
like.....a connection. 
And I just wanna hear them laugh and smiled and be so happy. 


So.....if you're reading this. 
I'm sorry. I wanna start over. Everything. Every bit of it. 
because I know I can do better and I'm more than ready to prove it to you.