Decoupled • KTH ✔

Chapter 38

Taehyung

I haven't slept well, shaved or showered in two days, and I look homeless, surrounded by an unmistakable stench. Work is milking the life out of me, and returning every night to an empty house with nobody to open the door for me, no Areum to hug me breathless, and no food on the table is a depressing change that I am not enjoying at all.

It has been two days since Jang-Mi left with Areum, and I haven't heard a word from her. Every time I call her to talk to Areum, she keeps ending my calls, but she hasn't yet blocked my number because I'm still able to call her phone.

To be fully honest, I do miss her presence at home, but I'm convincing myself that it is just a matter of time until I get over this separation and learn to live with it. However, Areum's absence is something that I'm sure I wouldn't be able to get used to.

Her sing-song voice, her little adamant requests, the sweet songs she sang before falling asleep, all the little hugs and kisses we shared, and every small thing about her keeps haunting my mind and makes me miss her so much more.

It feels to me as if a part of me has been ripped out, leaving me raw and bleeding.

Two days of not being with her has made me realize that I just cannot survive without her in my life, and if having her with me means that I have to pull along in this hopeless marriage with Jang-Mi, then I'm ready for that as well.

Being away from Maya hasn't been helping my situation one bit. I have no one to talk to, no one who understands the quandary within my head and literally no one who can offer me some solace. I'm pacifying myself while waiting for her to return, and also not giving up on my attempts to have my daughter back in my life.

My reflection in the mirror looks alien to me. The stubble shrouding my chin and the bags under my eyes make me look like a pathetic drunkard who has been feeding off trash and living on the streets.

I haven't been able to pour out to Maya, and she has also been busy with work and meetings these past couple of days. The most we talk is for ten minutes during the day, beyond which my mind keeps drifting, and I find myself unable to continue the conversation.

The struggle of keeping things from her until she returns is just pure torture at this point.

I am not trying to push her away by any means. I need her, and I always need her by my side to completely crumble in her arms and tell her how I have been fighting a storm like the last leaf on a branch.

As I stand there trying to fix my necktie, a sudden incoming call on my phone derails all my thoughts and brings me back to reality. It is from Jang-Mi, and never in recent times have I been so excited to receive a call from her. So much that my hands actually go cold and begin trembling.

"Jang-Mi?" I answer in a hoarse voice.

"If you can, meet me at this address today at 5 pm," she speaks in a tone that's cold, distant and devoid of any emotions.

"How is Areum?" I answer back with a question that is not related to her purpose.

"I asked you something," is all that manages to come out of her mouth, once again in an emotionless tone.

I take a deep breath and answer her calmly.
"I will. Send me the address. I asked you something too"

"She's good"

"I want to meet her"

"I'll send you the address for the meeting," she says, and before I could open my mouth to speak another word, the line goes blank, leaving me feeling like garbage.