A Thousand Salt Kisses Forever (Third Book in Salt Kisses series)

I Can't

My heart was thudding. Now? I can't just go right this second. I mean, what would Mum and Dad say?

I looked at him with a pained expression. "I can't," I heard myself say. My response came straight from the heart. It was just not an option; I could never do that to my parents. They had to be told first, and then they had to get used to the idea.

"I know," he said, softly. I didn't have to explain my reasons to him, I knew he understood. "But how did you want to do this?" he asked. "Ideally"

"Well... I wanted to tell my Mum and Dad... and ideally, I wanted them to at least meet you... although I don't know if that would be possible..."

I looked at him, he was silent, but he was listening.

"Um, and it's Jemima's wedding soon. I wanted to still be around for that," I continued. "And I still have to work out what on earth I'm going to tell her. She's obviously from the mainland. I will have to tell her I am going to live abroad or something... maybe Egypt, actually..." I trailed off, as my phone conversation from earlier that day resurfaced. Maybe I could fabricate a tale from all of that; make some use of it.

Llyr was watching me silently, and I returned to his question. "Look, I don't know. I really don't know. I haven't worked anything out yet, Llyr. I'm just not ready. But, I mean, if it needs to happen quicker, I can try to start working things out... but I still can't go right this second."

"I think we need to talk to Ri," said Llyr. "You need to tell him what you want, and maybe he can negotiate with them."

"Are they really that powerful?" I asked. Ri was King, after all. If he was on our side, could he not veto their demands?

"Yes, unfortunately," said Llyr. "It is the law of the sea that they can... how do I say it? Regulate us. They are these funny old mers from different kingdoms, often failed kings and queens, who volunteer to be an Ichthyocentaur in their later life. They live an isolated life like a cult, accumulating information about the northerly kingdoms from afar. If they choose to get involved, at the very least it must be taken seriously," he said.

"Hmm," I said, forlorn. "Well, why didn't they get more involved when you and Ri were under a spell? That would have actually been helpful - when those stupid Timsahs were trying to make off with all your Quintessence?"

To my surprise, Llyr put a finger over my mouth. "The Quintessence is a secret. We have not even declared it to them," whispered Llyr. "It is forbidden to keep the stone, for the things that it is capable of. We would have to hand it over to them."

I raised my eyebrows in shock. "But don't you think the Timsahs will tell them?"

"I don't know," sighed Llyr. "Maybe they won't involve them because they want to have it all for themselves one day."

I felt really worried all of a sudden. I felt like there were a lot of problems brewing on the seabed.

I let out a long deep sigh, as my thoughts returned to my move. "Llyr, why now?"

"Because they think the situation we have is dangerous and that it is only a matter of time before it...has implications for our species."

I squirmed uncomfortably as I remembered what had happened earlier today. "Llyr..." I began.

"Yes?" he asked.

"People on the island know about us," I said, cringing. I looked away for a second. I was dreading his response. When I managed to glance at him, my heart sank. He was staring down at the sand and frowning intensely. "Llyr?" I said.

"Mmm," he muttered.

"I'm so sorry, that morning when we-"

"The girl," he said, "with the orange hair."

I nodded, my eyes watching his face nervously. I just wanted him to be relaxed about it, to give me some form of reassurance this was not a major catastrophe.

He appeared to sense my needs because he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek before resting his head on my shoulder. We lay there for a moment and I stroked his hair.

"I'm really sorry," I said eventually.

"It's not your fault," he said. "I mean, we haven't been terribly subtle, anyway. I am always coming to your house and sitting on your jetty. It is my fault. I should have known better."

I felt so awful for him. It was both of our faults.

"It is a group of girls," I said. "Rosie is going to get them to stop talking about it."

"Hmm," said Llyr. He did not sound terribly reassured by this intervention.

I didn't know what else I could possibly say on the matter and so I lay there with him until I felt the weight on my shoulder get heavier, as he dropped off to sleep.

As I listened to him breathe, I prayed that our meeting with Ri would bring us solutions. Until, eventually, I too felt my mind, exhausted from worry, start to switch off.