Loving the Moon
"Look Kuya! The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" my younger sister asked me as she pointed the moon that shines brightly.
We are here in our balcony of my room sitting at the benches as we keep on staring at the peaceful sky.
"Yeah. Just like you. You are beautiful just like the moon, Haliyah." I patted her head and gave her a smile.
"Do you love me, kuya?" she asked without looking at me. I just stared at her kaya napatingin siya sa gawi ko, ngumiti siya at binaling ulit ang tingin sa buwan. Nanatili ang tingin ko sa kanya. I know where this conversation is going. "I know you love me, and you will always do." she laughed a little with her sentence. "I'm happy because you love me the way I do pero kuya, you shouldn't tied up yourself in me. You shouldn't drown yourself just to keep on protecting me. You have your own life to keep on fighting for. And you must live for it."
"I wasn't drowning myself Liyah. I am just giving myself a reason to live. And loving and protecting you was the best thing that I know, you are the reason why I am still here, you are my life. So, stop telling me that I shouldn't let myself tied up in you. Dahil una pa lang nakatali na ako sayo, kapatid kita at kahit sa anong paraan, gagawin ko ang lahat maprotektahan ka lang. I am willing to sacrifice my life just for your own sake. So please, don't makes me feel that loving you, wasn't a good idea. Ikaw na lang ang meron ako." I saw how her tears falls from her eyes. I know she just want me to let her go. But I still can't. Di ko pa siya kayang pakawalan. Alam kong nahihirapan na siya. Hindi naman siguro masamang maging selfish, kahit ngayon lang.
She's my life, my happiness, my comfort, and my brightest moon that makes me feel that I'm home.
I can't lose her. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula kung mawawala siya sa tabi ko. I can''t imagine myself smiling, laughing and enjoying without my home, Haliyah.
Nandoon na ako, noong nagsisimula pa lang siyang tahakin at harapin ang mundo.
I was there when she was born. I was 5 years old that time, and I already told myself that I will protect her. I'm willing to risk everything just for her.
Wala na kaming magulang. They died because of a car accident when I was 17. Tumira kami sa tita namin, when I turned 21 that's when I decided na magbukod kami, kaya ko namang buhayin si Haliyah. Ako na ang nagpatuloy sa negosyong iniwan ng mga magulang namin since nasa hustong edad naman na ako.
Kaya mahalaga sa akin ang kapatid ko higit pa sa buhay ko. Siya ang kayamanan ko. No one can take the fact that she's my sister.
I was there at the very beginning, when she was just in her starting point.
I was the one who accompanied her every time she went to school.
I was just right behind her if someone bullied her.
I am always beside her to be a shoulder to lean on.
I don't want to see her suffering from any pain. It kills me a thousands times if I see her crying.
But here I am, the one who never let go of her. The reason why she was still enduring the pain that she doesn't deserve.
I should be the one, who suffered a lot. Kung di ko lang siya hinayaan. Kung binantayan ko lang siya. Kung sinamahan ko siya, noong mga panahong kinailangan niya ako.
Pero hindi.....
I was too busy pursuing someone, who doesn't deserve my love. I keep on chasing someone who didn't even see my worth. And I just let my sister lost from my hands. And I didn't have the time to be with her. And I even lose my tempered out of frustration.
