désir // narry

Chapter 4

Ok guys so I put this chapter in Harry's POV... I hope you like it! Xx 

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Harry's POV

 

What is wrong with me?

I'm sitting here, on a bed, straddling my best friend, and teasing him as if I'm gay. Well, there's no as if, I am gay. I guess you could say I always have been. I've never really taken much interest in the women I've dated, never had eyes for them. When I'd met Niall, though, it was like the door to my heart opened up, and he was the key. The first time he looked into my eyes, I knew that I had no reason to date women anymore. All I saw, thought about, dreamed of was Niall James Horan. My best friend. 

This certainly couldn't be healthy right?

Liam called us down for lunch just as I was about to tell Niall he's beautiful. Not teasingly, for real. Because he is beautiful. He just has this aurora that encases the world around him. He's angelic. The way his eye lashes batt when he blinks quickly. When he giggles at a joke, even if it's not funny. When you give him a hug and he nuzzles his cute little nose into your neck. Everything. There's not one thing I don't like about him. The only way i can get close to him is by teasing. It fills the emptiness in my heart that he leaves, but after I feel awful. Because he's not homosexual. Hell, you could put a ruler up against him and Niall would still be straighter. But I just cant help my feelings. Now if I can only tell him...

In one swift motion, I flipped myself off of Niall's torso, and onto my feet. Without another word I just quickly walked downstairs and into the kitchen, hanging my head low in guilt. Louis was sitting at the island counter with Zayn and Liam had the menu book in his hands along with the telephone.

"Why do you look sad Harry?" Louis asked in his always perky voice.

"Oh uh it's nothing," I replied snapping my head back up and putting on a cheery face, "Just hungry that's all."

"Well not for long, come on sit down and you can choose what you want," Louis said gesturing for me to sit on the stool next to him. I squeezed in between him and Zayn, who, still looked a bit grumpy...

"Alright you guys can choose now," Liam said handing the book over to the three of us. I chose the chicken and shrimp pasta dish.

"Uh I'll have number 12," I told Liam. Just then Niall walked into the kitchen. He completely avoided eye contact with me. He just walked right past me like nothing had happened. He sat down across from Zayn with his hand holding his chin with a blank expression across his face.

I passed the menu in front of him so he could order. Again, he took it without even looking at me. Boy, he sure knew how to lay guilt on a person, and I already had enough of it in me.

Liam stubbed his toe on one of the chairs a moment later, however, causing his head to snap up. He looked at me with emotionless eyes. And do you know what I did? I winked at him and smiled. But do you know what he did? His face turned whiter than milk from a cow and he quickly looked away. Well that kinda hurt.

"I'm going to go lay down, tell me when the food gets here..." I mumbled getting out of my seat. Louis gave me a confused glance but I just walked past him. I just needed to gather my thoughts.

I plopped down on the soft bed and pulled a pillow over my face. Can't I just be a normal nineteen year old guy? No. I had to be in a world famous band. I had to be gay. I had to be in a world where that was unexceptable and wrong. And I had to be in love with my best friend who obviously will never feel the same way. Why me? I will never know.

After who knows how long I had been laying on the bed, drowning in self pity, I heard footsteps emerge from the stairs and make their way into the loft area.

"Harry?" I heard an unmistakable voice call out my name.

I slowly took the pillow off of my face and looked up to see the Irishman looking down on me by the bedside.

"Harry, what's wrong?" He asked sitting down next to me, making the bed dip slightly. He reached his sleeve up to my eyes and brushed the fabric along my cheeks. Why was he- wait was I crying? I guess my emotions spilled over while I was thinking about my life. I had never cried about it until now.

"I-I..." I stuttered as I tried to think of an excuse to why I was crying. The sight of the gorgeous, concerned boy on fort of me didn't help either...

"Harry, you know you can tell me anything," he said wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "What is it?"

"Uh- I just... miss my mum," I said thinking of something believable. I wasn't going to tell him the truth, but I certainly wasn't going to say something like, "Oh well I'm just sobbing here because I lost my pet jellyfish." Sadly, that thought ran across my mind...

"Awh, it's okay lad," he replied, pulling me in for one of his famous Horan hugs, "We all miss our families. You'll see them soon though."

He nuzzled his nose into my neck as he pulled me closer trying to comfort me. To bad the reason I was crying was because of him! Not that it was his fault, he can't help that he's so damn sexy I guess...

"Can we lie down?" I asked after a minute or so when my tears stopped. The feeling of being worn out suddenly washes over me.

"Sure," he smiled. He pulled down the comforter and we slid our legs under.

"Thanks," I say rubbing my eyes.

"Well are we just gonna lay here... or can we cuddle?" He asked in a low, but giggly voice that sounded almost unsure at the end.

"Of course," I replied chuckling. He grinned as he slipped one arm under my torso and the other around my waist and I slung my right arm over his side.

"For once, I'm saying how about we screw dinner, because this is better than that," he said looking at me with his crystal blue orbs. My heart fluttered and I cracked a genuine smile.

"I say hell yeah to that," I say in a husky voice. He laughs and turns over for a second to flip off the table lamp light. He reconnects himself to me and I take the chance to rest my head against his warm chest. He smoothes out the curls against my forehead and pecks the top of my head, sending my heart flying.

"Night Harry," he says in a clear voice.

"Night Ni," I reply. He rests his cheek on the top of my head and I fall asleep almost moments later, with the feeling of hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, his feeling might just be neutral...

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AH NARRY LOVE IS ESCALATING!!! Hahaha I just love Narry so much, don't you guys? Well I would hope so if your reading this! 

Anyways so I had a couple of my friends read this and they were like "Well do they end up together?!" "Do they ever admit their feelings?!" "Are they going to give up and go for someone else?!" 

Lemme answer those questions: yes, yes, and okay did you even LOOK at the cover?! Some of my friends are missing a few crayons in their box... But ANYWHO! Lemme just say this: they will eventually be together but there will be bumps in the road... 

You'll just have to read and see!

Kay that's it for tonight! Love you guys MWAH! XxX

~I'm out!~

 

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