My Redemption

THE FAMILY

   "Marie!" What are you still doing in ur room by this time, by father bellows from down stairs."
   Dad I will be right down, just trying to wear my shoes" I shout back, while I immediately wear my gown, apply a little lip gross and then wear my flat shoes, before rushing  to open the door and to answer my father before he comes up to find me, and trust me neither I nor him will find it funny.
    On reaching downstairs and seeing my father at the foot of the staircase looking utterly irritated and frustrated I knew that I really wasted their time.
   And when my  eyes met with his I saw his anger at me reflecting through his narrowed eyes.
  Quickly I  averted my eyes from his  focusing it on my mum who seem to wear a neutral expression making it impossible to know her take on the matter and then to my siblings that looked at me amusingly like saying that am always the black sheep.
  " We are all going for the third mass because no one is going to go late to church on Sunday in my own house" my father announces.
   He then faces me " and you Marie, this should be the last time you wake up late for service on Sundays, am I clear?", "Yes sir"I answed immediately with tears struggling to be let outside from my eyes.
     After the third mass which I supposedly made everyone to go to , we all filled back into my dad car for a ride back to the house.
      Once the car packed I was the first to rush out of it and enter the house going immediately for the stairs so that I can escape my dad's advice because I know that it was coming, but I still needed to try and escape, but my father stops me with a gentle tap on my shoulder,"
   where do you think are going to young lady?, aren't you going to eat before going into ur room and locking urself up as usual, what are you always doing in ur room because that is where you always are when you are not in school or church.
  Are you okey honey?, You  know that you can talk to me whenever you want , but you don't come to me again, instead you antagonize your mother when she asks you to run an errand or your senior siblings. Marie even you younger siblings are afraid to talk to you , what is really going on my dear , because I know that you were not like this before. I know you and ur siblings will think that I don't know what happens, but I can be very attentive when I want to, so my dear you can talk to me ". "Dad, am okay" I say , forcing a smile on my face to convince him. And I am surprised that he has yet to talk to me about this morning issue and I know that if I were to tell him my worries he will think that I am not making sense. And come to think of it, why is everyone supposedly thinking and saying that I am angry with everyone one in this house! Which is definitely not true, frustrated I am but not angry. And if I tell him this he will blow it out of proportion and won't stop until I tell him what is truely wrong with me.
So instead I will try to hide my depression a bit more I guess.
     After breakfast slash lunch everyone settled to watch movie, but I excuses myself with the lie of doing my non existent home work, and at least it made my dad feel less worried. On entering my room I broke down again because I think I really need to talk to someone and I need to do it fast, although that won't solve all my problems entirely, but I guess I might feel better and with that I cleaned away my tears convinced that I will tell my dad what was wrong with me this evening and get everything over and done with so that I can banter with my second half, mariam and get along with everyone else as I am supposed to.
    Around 6pm, when am sure that dad wouldn't be in the sitting room anymore, but instead at his office rounding up his weekend work, which I am not happy that he does , because why won't the man be given a period to relax in a week, instead he will be given a resting time that is not really a resting time but a work from home resting time if there is anything like that.
    Feeling annoyed suddenly on his behalf I decide to storm down to his office deciding that it will be the first thing I complain to him about.
  Outside his office I hear some whispering, but I go in anyway because am certain it will be my mother and my guess is right as they both turn to look at me as I open the door and enter his office.
  "Marie, what is it again?,can't you see that I and ur father are busy? and you can't just barge in here anytime you want  without knocking my dear.
And I have told you this countless of times ! I guess it only God that can help me to advice you now" my mum says as she stands up to leave. And I hope that you are not here to report your siblings to your  father because as you can see he is very busy and am already annoyed at him for working on Sunday , so if that is the case you can follow me out and tell me what they did this time " she says looking at me to confirm her suspension.
     "Mum, am not here to report anything to dad, I just want to spend sometime with him and catch up on a few things. And you make it sound as if am a trouble maker when you know that I hardly look for anyone's trouble" I tell her starting to get annoyed. " My dear you can't blame me, as these days I myself don't really understand you again,  you shout when you are not supposed to and you always find an excuse why you can't do this and that for me , although am not complaining as all I really want is to understand what is going on with you , and I have always tried, it's just that you are just different and I don't say it to make you feel sad my dear , I say it so that you can correct yourself. "Anyways since you have decided to displace me from my husband , I will be going to bed early, and hunny please don't spend the night here, just come to bed before 10 pm and do the rest tomorrow at work after all they aren't paying you for this extra work and goodnight my dear marie , please pray before you sleep my dear" my mother concludes before leaving the office.
  Left alone with my father who looks amused on seeing the expression on my face at mum's concluding remark,  he bacons me to come sit with him on the sofa beside his office table.
   " So what brings my princess to my office?" he asks with that amused look still on his face, leaving me to smile in response to his question.
   " And don't mind ur mother my dear she says all this because she cares about you deeply just as she cares for your  siblings , so don't take it to heart". He tries to make me understand.
   " I know dad", I say , giving him a pointed look. " But the way she goes about it is very reprimanding, as if she doesn't care if she hurts my feellings or not. That's the difference between the both of you. Because even though we all know that you are more  strick and disciplined, you always use kinder words to neutralize your harsh words, but mum is so calm and collected on a normal but when she is annoyed, you don't see that affection of trying to correct a loved ones, instead she talks to you as if she is fed up with you , although I do know that my barging in here wasn't her source of annoyance" I conclude giving him a pointed and jovial look. He signs at this looking utterly exhausted, giving me the impression that I am adding to his exhaustion, which I know he knows he won't openly tell me. And realizing this I decided to support my mum on the case of him over working himself. So instead of adding my problem to his already filled one I decide to approach him from a reprimanding point of view.
     " Dad I think that mum is right, and am also not happy, so please I really hope that you can listen to her and go to bed. I will really appreciate it if you go to bed early today, it will make me happy and maybe I can talk to you sometime this week if you listen to me". I announce, amusement clear on my face.
     " If you say so my dear, but remember, this is a bargain and you have to keep to your part of the deal". He concludes looking for my approval, which I give him in the form of a nod and a smile.
      " Okay dad, agreed. So let me leave you to complete ur work so that you can go to bed on time". I  tell him as I stand to leave the office.
      " Goodnight my princess,don't forget to pray as your mum instructed , and don't worry about me because I will be going to bed  5 minutes from now ". He announces, which I reply with a smile and a good night too, before leaving his office and going back to my room to rest as well, feeling more elated than I was before going to his office.
  With a smile on my face as I lay on my bed I conclude that maybe it won't be a bad idea to tell my parents my worries, because at the end of it all we are family and family endures and sacrifices more than any other relationship does.