Unraveling Raven

(17) Many Hands Make Light Work.

"Thank you, Lia. We'll look forward to seeing you." I hang up the phone as I shut the door of Elijah's office behind me.
"Who was that Tesoro?" Eli asks. He's standing at the window of his office watching as all the pack members pitch in to clean up after last night's altercation. Some are carrying logs of wood to be cut into planks. Some are carrying those planks to the ones repairing the burnt houses.

As the daycare was one of the buildings that took the most damage, the little ones are having a woodland day. They're learning about the wild berries and insects that are around the grounds. Even the big kids are serving lemonade. Everyone is doing something.

Everyone but Eli.

Although the action is heart-lightening, Elijah's...tense. His hulking frame seems more intimidating now, like he's ready for anything, yet his tone is still so soft with me.

"That was a friend of mine, she'll be stopping by later with a few of her colleagues to install some security measures around the pack grounds." My voice becomes quieter at the end of my sentence as it dawns on me that I didn't ask Elijah before I arranged any of this. My wolf cowers in a corner expecting to be reprimanded for overstepping. "Don't you dare think like that. This is your pack just as well as mine Tesoro. You have every right to want to protect them." He looks at me, watching carefully as he takes slow and calculated steps toward me.

"I know this isn't the time but, are we going to talk about it?" My stomach drops. I knew this was coming. He looks at me with a weary expression. Face screwed up in anticipation of my response. "Do we have to?" Heavily, he sighs before kneeling at my feet.

He's still pretty close to my face in this position and it reminds me of how much bigger he is than me. The tide in my stomach begins to pick up as my emotions swirl. If he ever was truly upset, he could do quite a bit of damage to me. "Raven, stop." My decline down the rabbit hole comes to a halt at the combination of his order and Alpha tone.

He cups my cheek and forces me to maintain eye contact the second I try to steer myself away. "Raven. Tell me what you want me to do. If you want me to breach the gates and raise hell I will. If you want me to set the world on fire as we sit on the moon and watch as the red and orange eats away at the blue and green we can. If you want me to just...hold you. I'll do it. I'll hold you forever and never let go." I stop breathing as he finishes. I want him to do all of the above. I want it to be me and him. I don't want to feel so heavy and lost anymore.

Everything amounts to nothing these days.

He's still watching me. Waiting for something anything. "Raven, I'll do whatever you want. You take whatever you want from me. But, please. Please let me help, let me make it better." My body won't obey me no matter how hard I try to control it. My worries escape and trail down my cheeks as my lip trembles. He stands cradling me, doing just as he promised.

Holding me.

Everything is too much and every alarm within me sets off. So I do what I've always done best.
I fight.
I twist and turn, attempting to wrench myself out of his arms. He won't budge. I try hitting him. Cocking back my fists and laying my knuckles out against his chest. I bring my knee up trying to create a gap between our bodies. I don't necessarily want to hurt him. I just want to get away. I want to wallow in doubt, shame and self-pity in peace. Eli won't allow this, the most I get from him is an odd grunt but his arms don't loosen and his muscles stay steely.
In fact, his grip gets tighter and tighter until I have nothing left.

No leverage.
No space.
No more energy.

My emotions hit me without warning. Everything pent up, the tide inside me, it all comes crashing out, all at once. I've had instances like this one before. When my barriers have broken. I usually feel like I'm drowning, like the air I have left in my lungs is escaping and my problems are winning. But, Elijah is merely treading water, swimming like it's the calmest lake. So I follow his lead. I cling to him because right now, he is my lifeline. He's treated me better in a matter of weeks than anyone has in years. He peeled back the layers and started the unravelling of Raven.

I circle his back and hold on tight. I'm pulled flush against his chest and his palm lands at the back of my head as he rests his own on top. He almost seems worried to lose me.

Is he?

My shoulders are shaking as I weep but I'm never left alone.
"I'll take it all. Give it all to me Raven." He's begging for me to hand over my baggage? He cares too much. The wrong person would be happy to take and take from his well. He needs to be protected just the same. His kindness needs to be shielded from the greedy. I'll do it. I promise to save him from the selfish.

After a few moments of standing, my tears dry up and the only evidence of our event is my hiccups. I lift my head and smile weakly as I watch the concern peek through the blue hue in his eyes. Our foreheads are connected as we both sigh. Mine is filled with hope that my past can be erased and me and Eli will live a long and peaceful future together.

That moment shatters once I gaze down and look down at his chest noticing the claw marks through his shirt. My claws must have snuck through as I lost control. His skin is almost fully healed but that doesn't excuse my actions.
I hurt my mate.
I pull away and this time he lets me. "I never–I–I'm sorry." He just shakes his head with a smirk watching my panic. "You think this is funny?" My tone is raised as the heat I recognise as anger warms my chest. His smile drops and he stills at the volume in my tone but he just stands and watches me unfold as I pace the room.

"I mean how do you expect me to manage a pack and be their Luna if I'm not even in control of myself. I'm a mess. Are you crazy?" His eyes follow my steps as his hands rest behind his back in a general-like position.
He is Alpha, you idiot.
I don't need her input right now. "They don't need you to be perfect. Do you think I'm perfect?"
Yes, duh.
If you don't shut up right now. "They need you to be intuitive and empathetic. They need you to understand...which you do." His tone is crisp and clear as he speaks. "You are all of those things and more. You don't need to be strong with me. Quite frankly I won't allow it." The gravel on his voice weighs out as he finishes and I sense a shift in the air.

He takes two precise steps towards me cornering me against his desk before he releases his hands from behind him to place at my sides. "Also Raven–" he pauses to stroke my hair before proceeding. "–if you ever think about raising your voice at me like that again, I'll tie you down and make you cum more times than you can imagine. I'll ignore your pleads and cries as you shake and lose the ability to speak. You'll lose the ability to even think straight." The end is a mere whisper but nothing short of a promise. My stomach tingles, my spine straightens and my underwear becomes soiled and sticky as I realise who I'm speaking to. "Do you understand My Love?" Both me and my wolf nod in unison and his eyes flash, indicating that he'd like a verbal response.

"Yes, My Alpha."
I sound breathless...spent and fucking weak.

This side of Elijah is a little scary.

Hi guys, sorry for the delay on this book. But I just wanted to correct some things before publishing anything else.
I hope you're all eating and drinking water.
Love you all🖤