The Senza Mortangel Chronicles Arc 1: Because We Have Nothing Better To Do

Episode 6: Pinapaitan, Wulfheard Style

"Oh, by the way, you guys have mentioned that Raffy is a techie, am I right?" Amy chimed. "And Fred here knows quite a lot about spells, enchantments, and basically anything else to do with magic. So I'd like to ask, what's Gus' talent?"

I was busy slicing the cow intestines to mix in for our lunch for today, but I could still take in the conversation happening over at the dining area, which is a good thing for me. I am not much of a talker, after all, so I very much prefer listening to others when they are talking.

"Huh, I guess me being an angel and all that jazz isn't enough to impress you so lemme just say that I'm good at throwing hands, so to speak" Gus answered Amy.

"Oh, so like, you're skilled in martial arts like us?" Victoria wanted to clarify.

"My answer to that is a big fat nope," Gus answered.

"Huh? Wait, so what's the difference?" Amy questioned. "I mean, you gotta know a bit of martial arts in order to fight, or at least defend yourself, am I right?"

"Ah yeah, that might be true, martial arts can and will give you an edge over someone if you're trying to defend from or parry someone's attack," Gus confirmed. "But let me ask you this: how much can martial arts help when you're in the middle of a brawl?"

"Well, you could..." Amy started, but the answer seemed to dawn on her when she trailed off.

"Exactly," Gus cackled, cracking his knuckles. "Martial arts can be handy when used properly, but in an anything goes sort of situation? Nah, almost nothing beats brute strength. Take Samson, for example. He's been blinded but once his hair grew back, d'you think a couple of shih tzu moves could topple off a temple, burying hundreds of Philistines with him?"

"Um, Gus, it's jiu-jitsu, not shih tzu," Raffy corrected him as she was examining Gino's broken radar gun. "Don't confuse the two."

Without missing a beat, Gus said, "Samson has been blinded but once his hair grew back, d'you think a couple of jiu-jitsu moves could topple off a temple, burying hundreds of Philistines with him?" as if he didn't make the mistake earlier.

Amy chuckled at what Gis did. "Gus, you can't just go on as if life has an undo button."

Instead of answering, Gus merely gave Amy a questioning look.

"Okay, maybe you can, but not that way," Amy went on. "In any case, if you were to become a Servant in FGO, you'd definitely be an Archer."

"Because he's good at throwing hands?" Victoria questioned.

"Hehe, I guess you could say that," Amy snickered.

"I mean, you're not wrong, Amy," Gus affirmed as he stretched his arms. "Very little was certain about me on the first couple of hours you met me so I guess it's fitting that you'd think of me as an Archer. After all, the only thing that's more certain in the Fate franchise is that the Archer class definitely is made up of Archers."

Gus paused for a few moments and then added, "That, and one should never talk about the moon."

"Like, ever," Amy agreed, nodding.

"Never ever never ever never!" Gus barked, his previous hyperactive demeanor aking over once more.

Silence loomed over all of us before Evanna quietly asked, "I'm sorry, just out of curiosity, but why shouldn't one talk about the m-"

Evanna was never able to finish her question when I heard the kitchen door fly open. I looked up to see Gino enter with a livid expression, and I might have a really good guess as to why.

"Tell me something," he hissed, "is there or is there not a kablan living in your backyard?"

Hmm, close enough.