Heart over mind | Bucky barnes

chapter six

You covered bucky up with the thin blanket laying on the other side of the couch. On the little coffee table next to the couch on bucky's side was a book called "rewrite the stars". you were suprised,because you didn't know that bucky likes reading(if anyone even knew),another thing you have in common i guess. There was a bookmark on one of the old pages,you opened the page,seeing that bucky had been highlighting some lines with a marker. One of those lines was "i love you,and will till the day i die,and i will never ever let you go again."

you didn't expect bucky to be such a romatic guy,so you just took the book and sat down next to him. You turned off the TV,and started reading some other lines such as "i will steal every single star in the sky for you,just to see you shine too."

Pages and pages later,you heard a loud breath next to you. You turned your whole body looking at bucky,he was breathing uncontrolled and sweat ran down his face.
"barnes?" you softly said,putting a hand on his shoulder. It took him a few seconds to realize where he is or what was happening,but he quickly started opening up as he found you sitting next to him. "i shot them." he whispered,looking deep into your eyes. "I shot the whole family. An innocent scared family with kids.." he kept going.
"It's okay bucky,i'm here,you're safe now." you tried to calm him down,and suddenly his breathing went back to a normal speed. A tear ran down his face,and you couldn't see him suffer anymore and just pulled him into a tight hug.

You knew exactly what this was like for him,a few years ago,hydra used you too to try to make a new weapon out of you,but then the Avengers came and kinda saved you,that's how one thing lead to the next and you became an avenger. You had to suffer from nightmares for about 2 years from then,but with therapy and good friends and family you managed to finally getting rid of these. You knew bucky was having weekly therapy session's too,but right now you were probably the best one.

Bucky gladly returned the comfort hug,he pulled you so tight your breathing got heavier. It made your heart melt,knowing how much he had to go trough as the winter soldier and how much he must've needed that comfort. Bucky's tears slid down your slightly oversized hoodie,And he pushed his face deep into your shoulder.

There it was again,that warm feeling inside of you,that tingle in your stomach. You knew you weren't supposed to feel that way,but you couldn't control such feelings. You definitely liked him more than you would confess to yourself,as a friend,yeah as a friend,right?

After a few minutes in that hugging position,you looked at him again and started talking. "I- i should probably go now-" you already wanted to stand up,as bucky answered as fast as he could. "No,please don't."

what? did bucky just asked me to stay? i thought he hated me? i hope he meant it..

"what..?" you shockingly asked. "Don't go,please." He didn't even need to say more. He needed the help right now,and you were the only one there,you wanted to help him,you wanted to hug him. You put yourself in a comfortable position,tilting your head over to bucky,what he copied. You looked at him,he looked at you. That specific eye contact,again. and again. and again. You enjoyed it,not just slightly.

Later bucky closed his eyes after a long time of deep eye contact,and you kept staring at him. He came a little closer,you could alrady feel his breath on your face. He didn't hug you or anything,just layed down closer to you. As you made sure he's asleep,you came even closer to him and whispered "good night,bucky." into his ear. You also didn't know why you started calling him bucky,it just felt so right. It felt so comfortable laying next to him,as if you've known eachother for your whole life.

you kept staring at him,thinking about how beautiful he actually was. His perfect blue eyes,combinated with his woodland brown hair,and not to speak of his cuteness. He looked like a cute little puppy,especially when he was sleeping. He was beeing so kind and nice the last time,so polite,so caring.

As already mentioned,you arent a person to hold eye contact if you ever had some,not at all. You just couldn't,and there was always this akwardness. But bucky? haha,no,not at all. His eyes made you feel like you want to melt at the spot,they made you feel safe,he made you feel safe.

The rest of the night,you couldn't sleep and you were just staring at him the whole night. You couldn't stop,you just couldn't.
That night you totally forgott about the rude asshole you used to know,he didn't exist for you anymore. Bucky needed you,and you knew that. Not just that night,he would need you more and more,something really deep connected you.