Life All Over Again.

Chapter I | Rock Bottom.

E L O U I S E ' s P. O. V.

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" Ellie ? " I heard my mother's voice, Louisa McArthur, call from the other end of the door with a light knock.

I took a shaky breath in and held it as I noted the familiar interior. I was in my old bedroom. Why was I back here out of all places ? I pressed my lips shut, painfully shutting my eyes closed, remaining rooted to the cold, hard floor. Whatever it was she wanted, she was soon going to give up and leave as always, I reassured myself.

" Elouise Beanca Conrady. " She started as she barged into the room. Of course. She was still not patient enough with me to allow passage for myself to even extend a welcome. " Aw, my sweet baby girl ... You're crying ... What's the matter, my love ? " She asked with too much emotion involved.

It sounded so genuine, so pure, yet so suspicious. I forcefully ceased my tears from escaping the walls of my eyes, wiping them away with the back of my hand. I would not dare show any signs of weakness. Not in front of Louisa. I studied her closely. For as long as I can remember, it was my life's mission to be enough for her, and countless times, I had proven useless on my quest. How could it be that I had finally accomplished it ? Before I had been given the slightest chance to complete my assessment, the real Louisa I knew started to reveal herself as she howled into a fit of mock laughter. I furrowed my brows in question. I could not say I was confused. No. I was waiting for which horrible version of herself she was going to turn to.

" Now, now, Ellie. Do you honestly see me calling you ' my love ' ? My sweet baby girl ? All in one night ? " She asked with a smile tugging onto her lips. What a pleasure to be blessed by the presence of the emotionally abusive bitch. " Come on now. I thought you were clever than that, Ellie. We both know you aren't deserving to be any of those and will in fact remain to be the sorry mistake of a human being you've always been. " She said as she continued dragging me.

I was a complete joke to my own mother, and it was high time I accept the fact that that's all she ever was going to view me as before she simply accepts me as her daughter. It was the painful truth, and in order to move on, I had to acknowledge it. Acceptance would be the first key to establishing my power — Just as I was about to feed myself a lifetime's worth of motivation, my alarm clock bullied me awake as it's buzzing filled the four corners of my bedroom. Thankfully I was back in my apartment. Seven years had passed since my departure from my family, and somehow, they were still finding ways to make my miserable days somewhat worthwhile. I laid down in bed for a little bit longer, staring at the ceiling, hoping for some sort of speedy recovery.

A few minutes later, I managed to get out of bed. I headed straight for the shower where I allowed my thoughts to consume me whole. Lately, any alone time I could afford automatically became a segment to overthink, and I was starting to note that as unhealthy. With a towel wrapped around myself, I got through brushing my teeth and moisturising my body. It was another work day, so I threw on one of my plain, short black dresses together with some black pumps. I stood in front of my body length mirror, fixing my features which needed some make - up, and looking at my reflection afterwards, I was delighted to see that the foundation had covered the bags underneath my eyes.

I made my way to my four year old daughter, Josephine's room where I found her already awake. I quietly leaned against her door frame with my arms crossed over my chest as I watched her attempting to comprehend a picture book. My lips curled into a smile. She was the drive that got me through these past few years when I had been pushed to the very edge of giving up. I owed her. I had to be the mother I never got and beyond that.

" Good morning my JoJo cakes. " I grinned, advancing into her room.

"Hi mama ! " She beamed. She flipped her book over and directed it towards me. " Look. Emma's mama got her a unicorn stuffy as big as her with the pretty pinks, purples and yellow. One day when we get money, can I also get one, pretty please ? "