Purple Biro

Vigil Uche

Growing up I have always preferred looking up the summary or asking around about a book before reading it. This did not happen only with books it also happened with movies and everything else, I always wanted to know what is coming. On YouTube any video that starts with "WARNING: Spoilers Ahead" would always be the one I would watch. 

I was aware there were so many things I did not know, so many books I was yet to read and so many experiences I've never had. At a point, I made it a thing to enlighten myself daily on something I knew I was totally ignorant about.

I started with trying to find out how everything in my room came to be, from the lamp stand on my reading table, to the pictures on the walls and down to the safety pin in my cupboard. I wanted to know how, where, when and why it all came to be, what prompted the idea, who made use of them first. I just wanted to know everything about everything.

I wished there was a book I could read and know it all, the encyclopedia and Wikipedia became my friend. While my mates where on social media upgrading their knowledge of the present and probably the future, I was on wiki trying to find out how history gifted us the present as we know it today.

At a point, I made my peace with the fact the no book on earth nor the internet could teach me everything about everything in the speed I wanted it. I had to learn it myself, one after the other. In this light, the idea of writing a book anybody could finish in one week and know the basics of everything about anything was conceived inside me.

This was why I invented Purple Biro, an imaginary figure that knows everything about everything. It knows everything we all have always wanted to know all our lives, and is very much ready to share its knowledge with us.

I invented Purple biro because I know that there is no better way to write such book without making it boring and voluminous, if not by telling a story and nobody tells a story better than someone who has seen and heard it all. Purple Biro you can now introduce yourself.

PURPLE BIRO

I am Purple Biro, Vigil Uche likes to believe he invented me but he didn't. If he did how do I know everything about everything and he doesn't.

Before I took the form of a Purple Biro, I was just a queen cell. Being a queen cell is kind of cool; you get to receive information from every other cell because they all have a part of you inside them. I have being a queen cell for a very long time and I have gathered a great deal of information and I am still gathering.

At first receiving tons of information per second from every single cell in the world was excruciating. So many queen cells like me died because of this, but I survived. I survived because I was among one of ten queen cells that learnt how to block channels of cell signals, so I blocked every other channels except the ones in the eyes and ears.

One could only imagine the amount of things I've seen and heard throughout the course of history, ranging from the discussions Abraham had with Sarah to everything Jesus said at the last supper till the song you sang under the shower this morning.

Few years ago the LORD wanted to elevate me for how much I have strived to survive throughout history, so He asked me to choose anything else I would love to become and He would make me so.

I didn't hesitate, I quickly choose to be a biro, and immediately He gave me the body of a gorgeous purple biro. I decided to become a biro because I felt compelled to share with the human race everything I've learnt across history.

I have seen how hard mankind has strived to make the world better for them, and I want them to know that someone has been watching and listening and, that someone is absolutely proud of the mankind.

When I became a Purple Biro I teleported myself to Vigil Uche's reading table and found myself amongst his army of biros. I choose him not just because he had already started nursing the idea of writing a book that give one knowledge of everything about anything but because I know how often he seats across his reading table and picks up a biro and starts writing.

Since he does this often and I could always manipulate him to picking me whenever he does, made me feel like being amongst his army of biros was where I was actually meant to be. I knew I had finally found my place and my voice in the world, as a story teller who has seen it all, and who is now in a slow and steady journey of telling it all.

Since I have not done this kind of thing before, the only thing I have always been good at is watching and listening. I decided to start my story telling voyage by summarizing a book, and adding the sensations and emotions I felt when these things actually happened.

After a long contemplation on which book I should summarize first, I finally came to the conclusion that it should be the Christian bible. I was intrigued by the fact that the Christian bible contains most of the earliest written works dating back to the time mankind invented writing. It is one of the oldest books in the world, and in the course of writing it so many words has been invented.

I did not choose to start my story telling journey with the bible because of my admiration for Christianity. Rather, I started with the bible because I was amazed as to how the writers of the bible tried to preserve not just history but the struggle of mankind.

Seeing a book start from "in the beginning..." made me realize how serious and how much work the human race had put in, and is still putting in, to understanding how the universe works and what makes them human. The bible is complete in itself, it tells the whole story, from the beginning until the salvation of mankind, and down to the end of the world, how amazing.