say yes. (dwayne hoover)

chapter fifteen

Ramona woke up early the morning after coming home. It was stupid, but she hadn't slept well that night because Dwayne wasn't there with her.

She spent the night listening to Radiohead albums, reminiscing on the concert. She already missed the feeling of being alone with Dwayne for as long as she wanted. Being able to be around him with no barriers up now felt so freeing.

Around ten, she got ready to head to the bookstore to check on Jamie and schedule her shifts for the next couple of weeks.

When she got to the door to leave, she noticed the box on her doorstep.

She was confused at first, wondering who the hell would leave a random box at her doorstep. For a moment, she was afraid to pick it up, scared it might be a bomb or something.

But then, she noticed the scrawled handwriting with the slanted crosses. Dwayne.

She picked up the box and went inside, sitting on her bed with a pair of scissors to open it.

The box was pretty huge and there were multiple parts to it. On top, there was a small package with the number one written in the corner. The front read "listen while you open."

She smiled and ripped the paper off of the package, revealing a CD case. She laughed to herself at Dwayne's sweetness, the way he replicated the gift she gave him. She read the songs on the back and her heart swelled. She popped the CD into her player and put on her headphones, feeling her pulse rise as the opening riffs to Everlong began.

The next part of the box was an envelope with a number two on it. She opened it and almost instantly felt tears spring into her eyes. Then, she began to read.

My Dearest Ramona,

I've never been very good with words. I think that's one of the reasons why I was so good at being silent.

I feel as though there are so many things I want to say, but I just don't have a way to say it. 

I don't think you have that problem. And I think that knowing you has made me better.

Actually, I'm pretty sure that I've spoken more to you since we've met than I have my entire life.

What can I say? You bring the words out of me. 

Anyways.

I'm writing this letter in an attempt to truly tell you how I feel about you.

I know I've said some, but I don't know if it's enough. I don't know if it'll ever be enough.

When I first saw you, I was dumbstruck. I know that's stupid. I don't even think it was "love at first sight" or something like that. What I think is that I instantly saw your brightness. You have this presence that you carry, it's like one of an angel. Every time you walk into a room, the lights get brighter. Every time you smile, the sun gets a little larger.

I don't know if you've ever noticed that. But it was the first time I ever noticed. And it's the thing that made me come back to you.

When you gave me that cup with your phone number on it, I felt like I was in a fucking movie.

It's weird to think about the fact that you don't see yourself the way I do. You've never gotten to see the way your eyes shine when you smile or the way your voice hiccups when you laugh. I feel bad for you.