A conversation about New York

But what is it about New York? Really? How can you be so sure you're going to like it? How can you feel like you're in love with a city you haven't even been to? Maybe it's the history of it. Maybe it's the culture. Maybe it's the coffee and the homeless people. Maybe it's just about the right mix of everything in-between.

INT. A man (27) and a woman (29) are sitting in a coffee shop and having a conversation. The woman has brown eyes and brown hair. She is wearing a black suit jacket with wide shoulders. The man has curly, short blonde hair and brown eyes. He is wearing a denim jacket and a white T-shirt. The woman looks upset. She is staring at the cinnamon on top of her cappuccino as she speaks. The guy is scrolling on his phone.

EMMA:
I want to be a writer in New York, Miles. It's that simple.

MILES:
Why do you want to go to New York?

EMMA:
I want to write about the comics. I want to see a stand up show every night.

MILES:
Who do you want to see?

EMMA:
I'll see Jerry Seinfeld and Dave Chappelle and Amy Schumer. Maybe bump into Tina Fey on the street.

MILES:
What will you do after the show? I won't be there, Emma!

EMMA:
I'll go have some pizza and then I'll go home.

MILES:
But what's wrong with the comedy here? Go see a show here! I don't get you.

EMMA:
All we do here is make fun of those nasty politicians and convince women they don't know how to drive. There are no funny people here. It's suffocating me. I'm dying a slow and painful death.

MILES:
Maybe it's not all that bad. Maybe you think too much, Emma.

EMMA:
Everyone's vulgar and aggressive and stupid. Don't you see?

MILES:
Maybe your American friends are the stupid ones. Maybe they are just as dumb as we are. Everyone's dumb.

EMMA:
Listen to me, Miles. I've watched Seinfeld — from beginning to end — twice. During both of those times, I was at completely different periods of my life in terms of the way I was viewing the world, the way I understood myself and the way I communicated with everyone in my life. I loved it both times. I loved it because of its unprecedented universality.

MILES:
What's Seinfeld? It's an old show, right?

EMMA:
Seinfeld was shot in the 90s. It resonated with me once when I was 23 and that was in 2018. It resonated with me a second time when I was 26 and that was in 2021. It's a show with no shelf date. And I want to say something to all the Rosses and the Rachels out there! (RAISES HANDS) I get it and I get you guys, but maybe it's not like Jerry and Elaine.

MILES:
I never got the Friends humor, you know. I will feel left out for the rest of my life.

EMMA:
Seinfeld's reality is the one place to go to if you're feeling like you're the center of the world or that the problems you're experiencing are incomparable in size to anyone else's. All of that is simply not true.

MILES:
Is someone paying you to promote this show, Emma?

EMMA:
What's your "the end of the world" moment, my darling Miles? You know you can't have one because you don't actually know how the people around you are doing. They might say they're doing just fine. They might nod and give a thumbs up. They might reassure you that everything is completely normal and in sync. But — deep down and away from the face of society and everyday chit chat — these people might be experiencing mental problems, self- doubt, a career setback, a death in the family. You can never be certain that the people around you are doing just fine. Every single person on this planet is dealing with something right now and there is no question about it. Before you exaggerate what has been bugging you lately, take a moment of silence to appreciate all of the silent battles out there.

MILES:
I don't think anyone has it worse than me. My mom's sick. I can't find a job. I'm stuck with you and all you talk about is moving to New York. And Seinfeld!

EMMA:
You know what your mom needs? She needs comedy!

MILES:
Are you drunk?

EMMA:
Comedy has the power to change the ways in which you view the world. You realize how most of what you go through on a regular day is kind of moronic, but you do it anyway. It's about remembering the fact that you should never take yourself — or what you do for a living — that seriously. You shouldn't be completely dependent on your relationships and you shouldn't think you have mastered a certain skill. People change and relationships fall apart. You can never be the best at something since you grow and evolve every single day.

MILES:
Not everyone grows and evolves every single day. There's the weekend.

EMMA:
I think it's very important to look in the mirror and laugh from time to time, you know? You have to remember that there's always going to be a person who is making fun of you no matter how proud you have made yourself or your parents.

MILES:
I don't think you need me anymore, so I'm getting the check. It's clearly monologue night again.

EMMA:
But we came here, so you could eat.

MILES:
I've seemed to have lost my appetite.

EMMA:
Alright. If you say so.

MILES:
Final thoughts on comedy, Emma?

EMMA:
I think I've got it.

(PAUSE, EMMA TAKES A DEEP BREATH)

EMMA:
(CONT'D) Comedy makes you realize life is ridiculous and you as a person living it are pretty ridiculous, so the best thing to do with life is get a good laugh out of it. Maybe that's the only way to genuinely survive and make some good memories while you're here.

MILES:
The coffee's on me, okay?

EMMA:
You need American comedy in your life. You simply do, Miles!

CUT TO: Emma and Miles exit the coffee shop and start walking down the street. Emma stops when she sees graffiti painted on an apartment building on her right. The following words have been spray painted:

"I'd known since I was a child that I was going to live in New York eventually, and that everything in between would be just an intermission. I'd spent all those years imagining what New York was going to be like. I thought it was going to be the most exciting, magical, fraught-with-possibility place that you could ever live; a place where if you really wanted something you might be able to get it; a place where I'd be surrounded by people I was dying to know; a place where I might be able to become the only thing worth being. And I'd turned out to be right. " — Nora Ephron

CUT TO: Emma looks at Miles with her mouth wide open and her eyes popping out. Miles looks back at her with confusion.

MILES
How did they manage to fit so many words in such a tiny space?

EMMA:
Does it matter?

MILES
And who's Nora Ephron?

THE END