Shouldn't Have Dealt - Book II

Chapter 31 - Stag or Fawn

"Why don't we wait for your brother?"

Brother? Whose brother?

"Hunter's returning soon, and we'll go over his place. We'll check out his girlfriend."

Hunter's brother?

This man here... this Fawn...

No.

I shake my head vigorously.

This man can't be Damien. I would have known if it's him.  I know the sound of his voice, but...

I try to recall why I wasn't paying much attention to him a while ago. I was too occupied with finding out who Will is, his intentions and connection with Hunter, that I did not recognize Damien's voice in this man.

Who would think he would be Damien? Everything in me knows he's not in Jersey, that he went someplace I do not even know and that he's never coming back. So why would I think it's him?

Suddenly, all my limbs weaken.

The door shuts close, and I know he's left again.

It was Damien. I couldn't be wrong now. I just know it's him.

Why am I not moving? Why am I not lifting a finger to take off the wooden plank and free myself from this enclosure? I have been staying in this position for quite too long now. My shoulders and knees are numbed, and my arms are about to collapse.

I was this close to Damien, and yet I fail to recognize him.

I feel pain in my heart like a dagger going straight through it. It's throbbing, and it's causing me to breathe heavily. As a natural response to the need of air, I reach for the wooden plank, and with all my force, push the plank outwards. It falls onto the floor with a smashing sound, but I am not afraid of being caught now because I know no one's in the room. Will and Damien have departed.

Crawling out of the wall chamber all flustered, I fail to see the overhang. Hence, when I put my arm forward, there's nothing in there to support me. And so, I fall hard against the floor.

Tears break out my eyes, but I know the pain from falling hard is just an added cause. The prime reason for the sudden gush of emotion is the unexpected turn of events—the surprise and regret.

The remorse I am feeling for not recognizing Damien is too much to handle that I stayed helpless on the floor.

Have I reached the stage of acceptance and forgiveness that even his voice has lost its place in my memory? Did I push myself too much to forget the man? Did I?

If I did, shouldn't I be happy for finally and totally wiping him out of my mind? I don't feel any bliss... not even a shard of happiness.

Guilt is consuming me so much that the tears stop on its own from gushing out of my eyes.

Damien is Fawn.

Hunter is Stag.

It all makes sense.

Damien's awful history before he got into Princeton, his ties with strange men the media calls the 'Great Influencers of the highly reputed Damien Etheridge'—I remember them all. He was all over the news for months. If only we haven't met at college, I would have always thought of him as a troublemaker even if I knew of him as the mayor's only son and the richest kid in town. Stories of his nightclub escapades, violent drinking games, substance abuse, and petty theft with friends, probably Will, reached my ears. He was the Damien Etheridge I had known before I met him at Princeton.

There were no traces of Hunter Stone's involvement in all his debauchery. I cannot remember anything about the man from the TV or the newspapers. Hence, I was extremely bowled over when I first knew that they are brothers.